I’ve been quite smitten lately with clitoral stimulators, and they are quickly becoming one of my favourite sex toys. Previously I only owned two, the Satisfyer Pro 2 and Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation, and have been eager to try more. So when Peepshow Toys recently approached me with a list of items I could review, the California Exotics Clitoral Pump jumped right out at me. I saw it as a great opportunity to review a similar toy to the Satisfyer line but from a different brand, and to have a cheaper alternative to suggest to my readers.
As a note, I am aware this toy is called ‘Clitoral Pump’, but other than the name I feel it is simply a clitoral stimulator. All wording on the box and online product pages only discuss the toy in regards to it being a clitoral stimulator, with no mention of anything regarding using the toy as a pump. I feel this name choice was to instead help avoid getting in trouble for so clearly copying Womanizer’s / Satisfyer’s design. I haven’t ever used a clitoral pump myself, so I cannot say with certainty that this is not one, but I have done some research and I believe this would be a fairly poor one if so. It may perhaps be able to use the suction technology enough to create a pump-like effect and thus be effective in this regard, but in a far different way than other pumps on the market. In this regard, I will be reviewing this sex toy as a clitoral stimulator, despite its name.
The Cal Exotics Clitoral Pump is sleek, attractive, and minimal. It uses a beautiful buttery silicone, which is a pleasure to the touch and to hold. To further this, I also find the shape of it to be quite ergonomic and holding it is very comfortable. Rather than having a small nozzle that can come off for cleaning like Satisfyer uses, the Clitoral Pump instead has its entire top half as removable. This is not only amazing for cleaning (and easier to find if misplaced than the Satisfyer nozzles), but also means it can be rotated to position it however you want. In the centre of the toy, separating the detachable end, is a silver ring of plastic which is attached to the inner area of the toy. This can be viewed once the head is removed, and gives an idea as to how the toy works. The toy features two buttons, and displays the Cal Exotics logo underneath these. Despite its low price tag, all my favourite features are included; It’s USB rechargeable, waterproof, and body safe. My only issue with the general appearance of the toy is that it only comes in purple, which is my least favourite sex toy colour as it is also the most common.
The actual head of the toy is quite interesting. Rather than Satisfyer’s thick silicone nozzles, this one is quite thin. I find this works to its advantage however, and I generally find the placement of this toy easier than with my Satisfyer toys. One of the biggest differences between other clitoral stimulation toys and this one however, is the inner “Soft Teasing Ticklers”, as Cal Exotics call them. Basically inside the head is a circle of silicone spikes that is designed to further stimulate the clitoris. I find that clitoral stimulation is already pretty intense as it is, so I was a little concerned by them. While they are described as soft, I find them to instead be quite firm and even slightly sharp to the touch. Finally, at the very back of the head is a hole that allows the suction function to work. It looks as if there was an area where the hole was meant to be, but instead of using that somebody has instead just poked holes into it with a toothpick. This makes the head look very poorly made, which is a shame since the rest of the toy looks great. In general the head reminds me a lot of a blood-sucking sci-fi alien, or perhaps the mouth of an evil leech from Dungeons & Dragons.
My order for the Cal Exotics Clitoral Pump was placed with Peepshow Toys on the 23rd of May and it arrived on the 30th of May, which was a fantastic time frame considering it was coming from the US to Australia. The package had no mention of the company that sent it, but did list the items inside as “Massager”, which may be an issue if privacy is important to you. The actual product box is very basic and low-quality. It’s made of cardboard, and features an image of the toy and information about its features. Inside the box the toy was loose and just wrapped in a small layer of bubble wrap. Since the box is quite oversized compared to the toy it would have been rattling around inside the box the whole way to me, and I’m surprised it survived. I wasn’t very impressed by this fact, so I think I would have been quite upset if I had paid for this toy. The only other thing inside the box was the USB charger, so no instructions or storage bags with this one. Since there isn’t really any instructions on the box either, I guess Cal Exotics just hoped you can work it out by yourself.
Charging the toy is easy. Just plug one end of the charger into the hole on the toy, and the other end into a USB port. Frustratingly there is no indication of whether the toy is actually charging, or when it is finished. However, the toy should be fully charged in 80 minutes, letting it then run on its highest speed for 45 minutes and on its lowest speed for 60 minutes. I have found this toy to keep its charge immensely well, and during my weeks of testing I only had to charge it once, which I was very impressed by.
The toy is advertised as having “12 patterns of vibration and suction”, but I wasn’t aware until I got it that it only has patterns. Normally toys are advertised like this but still feature at least some steady speeds. Usually I would be upset by this, but since this is a clitoral stimulation toy I was more open to the idea of just using pattern modes. The next problem I found with it however, is that there is no way to increase or decrease the suction strength on these patterns. This is pretty regular for most sex toys, but on a suction toy being able to adjust the suction strength is super super important. They aren’t the sort of toys that you can just jump into at full speed, you need to start low and work your way up. My Satisfyer toys have 11 variations of suction, and I only ever use the first few since I have quite a sensitive clitoris. So the idea of not being able to control or lower the suction on this toy? Rather terrifying. After using it, I can report that there seems to be two strengths to the suction, low and high, and that it differs between these two on all the pattern modes. This means you can’t just find a mode where there is only the low suction, because there isn’t one.
The toy features two buttons, an on/off button and a button to control the pattern modes. Clicking the on/off once will turn on the toy, and this is indicated by a faint red LED light above the buttons. To then activate the suction, press the other button. The toy will always start on whatever the last pattern you used was, so if you have a favourite there is no need to go back and find it again. You can then continue pressing this button to flick through the pattern modes in a loop. To turn off the toy and suction you can then press the on/off button again. Normally I dislike toys that have a separate on/off button, but for this one Cal Exotics have done something smart that I haven’t seen before: it automatically turns off after a minute or so if it hasn’t been used. This means no draining of the battery if you forget about it (like I always do). Overall the controls on this toy are easy and intuitive to use.
The biggest immediately obvious problem with this toy is its noise levels. It is really loud, and on par with the Satisfyer Pro 2 which also had noise level problems. It’s one of those toys that I am pretty sure my neighbour can hear me using, so if you live with housemates or have other reasons which mean you need to be discreet in your toy use, this one probably isn’t for you. This can also be incredibly frustrating and annoying in use, as it can be quite distracting and if used for a long time can give me headaches.
To say I was nervous to try this toy out on my clitoris is an understatement. Around the time I received it, I began hearing mentions of other Satisfyer imitation toys that were getting stuck suctioned onto people and causing them immense pain. While this toy does state that “Suction Releases Automatically When Turned Off”, it was a worrying and frightening concept. In addition, I had tried this toy out numerous times on other parts of my body before testing it, and it always resulted in a red mark and indents where the ‘Ticklers’ were, and that would be only after a few seconds. The longest I have been able to leave it on my body was for 60 seconds on my arm. This resulted in a large red mark that stayed for hours afterwards, physical pain during and after, and it drew blood to the top of the area. You can see these tests documented on my twitter here, as well as a video showing what it is like to use. From these I definitely feel that this is a toy that should not be applied to anyone’s private areas, but unfortunately for me and my clit I had agreed to review this item, and I wasn’t going to back out on that. Being a sex toy reviewer isn’t always fun and games!
As much as I would like to say I successfully used this toy and mastered it, I did not. I always test toys a minimum of three times before reviewing them, so for this toy I placed it onto my clit during three different sessions, and each time I yelped in pain before quickly removing it. There are two major issues with it when on my clitoris. Firstly, it is just way too strong. Perhaps if it had a weaker suction mode to start off with then it would be alright, but from the get go this strength is just too much. If you put the Satisfyer toys on their strongest mode and then straight onto my clitoris I would have just as much of a problem. Secondly, the ‘Ticklers’ are very painful when placed over the clitoris. They may just be silicone, but against my clit they feel like tiny needles poking into it. Both of these aspects combine to make a toy that I can’t keep on my clit for more than two seconds. Thankfully, at least it did not get stuck on me at any point, and I do feel the claim that it will release automatically is true.
Even though it seems like this toy may just need to burn in hell, I do like to try and find the positives in things also, and I feel I have somehow managed to achieve that with this toy. I’ve found using it on my nipples to be quite pleasurable and stimulating, and I enjoy using it in this way as either foreplay or during masturbation. I certainly need to be careful to not leave it on for too long, but at least I don’t find the suction overwhelming or the ‘Ticklers’ to be painful. If I put it on wrong though it can cause a ‘pinching’ sensation, so that is also something to avoid. The biggest issue with using it in this way, however, is that since it is so close to my head the noise is very frustrating and will give me a headache after awhile, but this just helps me remember to not leave it on too long. Additionally, I find this toy makes a pretty good clitoral vibrator. If you just ignore the suction head completely, and instead place the body of the toy against yourself, it is actually very stimulating. While the suction is on it creates a vibration feeling, so as long as you don’t mind patterns this is a great way to use the toy. The vibrations aren’t great, being both buzzy and weak, but at least it’s better and safer than the suction.
Cleaning the toy is pretty simple since it is made of silicone and is waterproof. Just remove the head and wash it with warm water and soap (or wash the body too if that is also dirty). Then rinse and it leave to air dry. After this the toy can be kept however you want, such as in its original packaging or in a zip lock bag. Since the head and body are made out of silicone ensure you only use a water-based lubricant with it.
In conclusion, I am very disappointed in this toy. It is not often I am physically hurt by a sex toy, and I feel lucky that at least it was not as bad as some of the horror stories I have heard lately. I do not believe anyone should buy this product, and I would even go so far as to say that I believe Cal Exotics should stop manufacturing it and even possibly recall it. Maybe I’m just a wimp with a sensitive clitoris, but I don’t believe a clitoral stimulator should cause pain and blood on an arm after just 60 seconds of use. I did find a use for it on my nipples and as a vibrator during my tests, but I won’t continue to use it after this.
You can buy the California Exotics Clitoral Pump from Peepshow Toys for just $52 AUD / $41 USD, plus use my code GRACE to get 10% OFF your order!
I received this product in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.