Reviews

Review: Odyssey Toys Kraken Grinder

Odyssey Toys Kraken Grinder

It’s been a few weeks now since my Top 10 Sex Toys of 2023 went live, and if you’ve had a chance to browse the winners yet, you’ll know that I placed a toy I gave an overly negative review to at Number 3 (what a twist!). That toy is the Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II, and even though it has plenty of issues, the fact is that it was one of the most memorable reviews I completed last year. Whilst functionally grinders are very simple, they offer a true blank canvas for toy makers, allowing them to go all in on immersive fantasy designs that resonate with users on a deeper level than just pleasure. And it was exactly this that led me to fall in love with the Tentacle Grinder II, from its detailed Lovecraftian design to its tapered tip for just the slightest amount of insertion. So, when I was recently contacted by another UK-based indie maker, who offers a toy that takes everything I loved about the Tentacle Grinder II and then amps it up another notch? Well, I was all in.

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Review: Velvet Thruster Prime

Velvet Thruster Prime with Sammie, Walter, Edward, Nanci, Frankie and Jackie heads

2023 is the year of the thruster. I, perhaps prematurely, called it back in June after reviewing just three, yet since then I’ve gone on to double that number, turning a style of product I rarely review into one of my most talked about toys of the year. So today’s post feels almost like a culmination of this trend, because at long last I’m bringing you my review of the Velvet Thruster Prime. One of my most requested sex toys this year, I first started teasing this collaboration with Velvet Brands back in May, and figured I couldn’t let the year end without finally sharing my thoughts on one of the most elaborate thrusters, if not sex toys in general, that I’ve ever received. Because I’m not just reviewing one version of the modular Prime today, but all six of its insertable heads, as well as two of the optional accessories.

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Review: Sohimi Deep Sucker

Sohimi Deep Sucker

I know I’m a little late to the party, but a few weeks ago I finally bought my first makeup sponge. I’m already obsessed, and whilst I’m no beauty influencer, I’d highly recommend getting one if you use liquid foundation. So, when Sohimi reached out recently about trying some more of their toys, it felt a bit like fate when I saw a clitoral stimulator cleverly disguised as a beauty blender in their store. They sent the Deep Sucker out to me right away, and whilst the shape is great, I do think the size, which is more than double a typical makeup sponge, offers a clear hint that this item isn’t what it seems. Regardless, with a standing design that places the suction nozzle at its base, this is still a promising sex toy for anyone who needs to maintain their privacy.

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Review: Midnight Menagerie Teufl

Midnight Menagerie Teufl

It’s been well over a year now since I last reviewed for an Australian independent maker, and oh how things have changed in that time! It feels like just yesterday I was introducing Darque Path and Faux Phallus at the blog, two of the very first local stores to pop up, and now all my dreams have finally come true, with a thriving community of small businesses being located right here down under. One of these such brands is Midnight Menagerie, a Queensland-based shop very much after my own heart. With a range of fantasy designs available in a range of beautiful colours, they also offer TTRPG dice for games such as Dungeons & Dragons, which I’m more than a little partial to. But the thing that most excites me is the variety of size options they offer their toys in, and so when they recently suggested sending me their latest design, the Teufl, I knew it would suit me perfectly.

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Review: Klitton I

Klitton I

We hear the phrase “size doesn’t matter” a lot in this industry, but lately it seems like everything is getting smaller! From the exciting new Magic Wand Micro, to my recent review on the Pink Punch Sunset Mushroom, it’s cool to be small these days. Not only does it allow products to be more versatile, working in a greater range of positions and situations, but it offers more privacy too, with toys taking up less space and thus easier to hide or take with you on the go. Plus, a smaller body generally means a smaller motor, which results in less noise. The flip side of this, however, is that it can also mean less power, something these toys are hoping to debunk once and for all. Yet no product has more reason to prove this than the smallest vibrator I’ve ever seen, the Klitton I.

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Review: ZALO Mose

ZALO Mose

I’ve tested hundreds of sex toys at this point, so unless a product is truly innovative, like the Snail Vibe or the first suction toys, chances are I’ve already got one or more hidden away somewhere. Because of this, it’s usually the small things that catch my interest when I’m looking at products to review, rather than the toy itself. Exciting new features, such as WOW Tech’s Smart Silence and advanced phone app functions, are easier to come by than someone literally inventing an original sex toy, and one such feature that I’ve been dying to see on a vibrator for awhile now is a proper LED screen. From phones to air fryers, it feels like everything has some form of electronic display screen these days… except for sex toys. But if anyone was going to do it, it was ZALO.

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