Welcome to the second edition of Ask A Sex Toy Reviewer! I put this series together last year because I wanted to hear from you, my readers, and find out what queries or questions you had about anything from sex toys, sexual health, how to run a blog, to even myself! I’ve been collecting questions ever since then, and recently put out a call for more during my Third Blogiversary Giveaway! I was totally overwhelmed by the amount of great questions I received during this, but due to illness I was unfortunately not able to get round to these until now. Here’s a few of my favourites, and hopefully I’ll be getting Issue 3 out soon so I can address even more!

What was your first ever sex toy, and what do you think makes a good first toy?

A good first toy should be everything mine was not. My first exposure to sex toys was at sex convention Sexpo, which I went to when I first turned 18 because Stoya, one of my favourite porn stars, was appearing there. I didn’t know anything about sex toys at the time, but since I was there I bought a few. The majority of toys sold at that convention however are sadly not body-safe. I wrote an article on the first toy I tried which you can check out here, but essentially it was pretty bad. After only a few seconds of use it left me in agony, because the chemicals in it basically burned my vagina. I got a yeast infection the next day which was damn embarrassing since I was on holiday at the time.

So as you’d expect, my main piece of advice for a first toy is get something that is body-safe. I’d also recommend getting it from a reputable brand (if I’ve reviewed for a brand it typically means they’re reputable, and you can check out a list of them here! Also check out this list of my blacklisted brands, they are who to avoid), and don’t buy it through eBay or Amazon.

In terms of the type of toy to start with, I’d go with how you currently masturbate. If you enjoy clitoral stimulation then buy a bullet vibrator, if you enjoy internal stimulation then a dildo or G-Spot vibrator would suit you better, and so forth. If you’re not sure or like a variety of things, a toy that is versatile and that can do multiple jobs may be good. For instance a vibrator like the We-Vibe Nova 2 is great when used both internally and externally.

Is it fun to receive free products?

It sure is! Technically since I work for the products, as in writing the reviews and advertising them on my social media accounts, they aren’t free, but I totally get what you mean. It was particularly amazing at first. Getting sent hundreds of dollars worth of products that I love? Brilliant. But it meant that saying no to things was really hard, which led to me taking on way too much stuff at once a few times and getting really behind and overworked. The fun quickly goes away when you have over 20 ‘free’ products all waiting to be worked on!

These days I am accustomed to it and no longer find it a novelty. Plus, at this point it’s like, “How many more sex toys do I really need?”. So I’ve now begun only accepting a limited number of items to review, and I even charge companies I’m not affiliated with to send me the ‘free’ toys (I get toys for free and get paid for it? Now that’s a pretty sweet deal!). This gives me more time to write posts like this, and means I can curate the items I review a bit more.

Do you have any tips for storage and cable management?

A lot of sex bloggers love to show off their toys in amazing displays around their home or just in their bedroom. While I love this idea, I am sadly not one of those bloggers. I live in a small apartment and often have friends over, plus I can’t hide things away by just displaying them in the bedroom, because guests need to go through our bedroom to the bathroom. Also, displaying toys isn’t the most practical as they’d be picking up dust, and I’m just far too lazy to want to clean them all before use. On this note, my main aim when storing toys is to ensure that they are kept clean and are discreetly hidden from view.

After I’ve cleaned a toy, I typically place it in either the storage bag it came with or a clear zip-lock / sandwich bag. I always do this with insertable toys as it means they stay clean and don’t get dusty while in storage. Meanwhile, for other toys such as wand massagers and clitoral vibrators I use my own discretion on whether these need to be sealed away or not (for instance, a clitoral vibrator made of silicone may attract dust, which I would seal away, while one made of plastic would not, so it could be left as is). A common misconception is that the zip-lock bags are to protect silicone toys from touching each other, as their material will break down if stored together, but this is not true. I then keep all the toys I use regularly, or am currently testing, in my bedside-table drawer. The rest all then go into a huge plastic tub that I keep under my bed. This keeps them from the view of any guests, and means that they are well protected.

As for my cables, I keep these in a separate box under the bed. It unfortunately isn’t the most organised box, but I have at least found a method of labelling the cables. For this I simply use some cheap masking tape, and write on it with a sharpie. I’ve tried a lot of methods to label these cords, and this is something I’ve recently started that I’ve found to be by far the easiest and cheapest out of any of them. I definitely recommend doing it!

Here’s some photos of all my storage solutions if you’re curious about seeing any of the things I mentioned above!

What toys are good for discreet masturbation?

Bullet vibrators (or similar small clitoral vibrators), such as the We-Vibe Tango X, are by far my favourite for discreet masturbation. It’s what I always bring on trips with me and they’ve never caused me any issues while away. This is firstly because they are so small, which makes taking them with me (even when my luggage is minimal) extremely simple. Usually they are about the size of a tube of lipstick, so because of this I find storing them in my make-up bag to work well, since if anyone was to look inside it they would probably just dismiss the toy as a beauty product. Next, they are generally pretty quiet, but if you get a good one, like the two I listed above, then they can still really pack a punch. Lastly, if you use them while wearing underwear or PJ pants, then they don’t need to be cleaned! While a insertable toy such as a dildo won’t make any noise during use, the issue with it is that you’ll need to clean it afterwards. But with a bullet vibrator it’s easy to keep clean (or small enough to discreetly clean if it does get dirty), so you can just put it back away again after use!

What are some clues to telling whether a sex toy is good or not before purchasing?

The first thing I look at with any sex toy is what it is made of. A good sex toy should not only be body-safe, but it should display this information with pride. By this I mean that it should be a very easy task to identify what the toy is made from. If a toy is made from a body-safe material it will display this clearly on the packaging or website product page. This is because it’s a huge selling point, so why hide it? If you can’t identify what the toy is made of within the first 10 second or so, it’s probably not body-safe. Even if you find the word “silicone” or “body-safe” nestled within the small print after a really good look, it’s still probably not body-safe (since sex toys aren’t regulated, companies are allowed to lie about what the toys are made of!). If the packaging / product page doesn’t explicitly state what the toy is made from or uses made up sounding words such as Cyberskin or Sil-A-Gel, then it’s also probably not body-safe.

After this quick 10 second test, the next step would be to look at who made the product. If this information isn’t easy to see, then that’s probably a warning sign. Having a rough idea of reputable sex toy brands will help immensely here, and blogs like mine are a good resource for familiarising yourself with these. If you aren’t sure, then do a quick Google search. If a bunch of stuff comes up about the brand then you’re probably in good hands, and even better if reviews come up that you can check out. Brands who are hugely popular but I would avoid as they typically make bad products are Pipedream, California Exotics and Doc Johnson.

If the toy is body-safe and made by a reputable manufacturer then you’re probably good to make your purchase. The only other thing I would recommend to do after this is just see if you can find reviews for it online, which is very easy to do by just searching the product name and the word ‘review’ on Google. If there are no reviews it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad, but if you are unsure then just contact your friendly neighbourhood sex blogger (like me!) and ask for their opinion on the product or brand that makes it.

What are the downsides to being a sex toy reviewer? 

While it’s a pretty good gig, there are definitely downsides as with all jobs. Blogging itself can be hard, it requires a lot of dedication and a range of skills, from more creative side of things (such as photography and writing), to the more technical (such as website maintenance and coding), and then to the more social (such as networking and maintaining affiliate relationships). Site fees can also be steep sometimes, and even though I do make money from my blog they always make a big impact whenever I have to pay them.

Although the hardest bit about being a sex toy reviewer is definitely the bit that probably seems the most fun: masturbation. If you’re on my blog then you probably enjoy doing this, and I’m sure it sounds like a good thing to do for work! But once something becomes “work”, it really takes the joy out of it! Since the sex drive can be easily effected by things such as stress and mental health, which I have issues with, this can be particularly difficult to manage. I might be going through a really bad depressive episode, and the last thing on my mind is anything sex related. But if I have review deadlines then I don’t really have much of a choice.

Reviewing bad sex toys is also a huge downside to the job. I think it’s important to have a range of reviews on my blog, so I don’t shy away from reviewing toys I think will be bad. But that doesn’t make it much fun for me during the testing phase. Whether it’s using a vibrator that’s so weak that I can barely feel it but I have to test it anyway, or toys that physically hurt me (I even had one make me bleed earlier this year!), using bad sex toys is something no one should have to go through (but I guess that’s why I do it, so you don’t have to!).

What is the safest material a sex toy can be made out of?

Definitely silicone. It’s not that hard to make a body-safe silicone toy, which means that even smaller companies on Etsy can do it. While other materials such as wood, glass, and metal can also all be body-safe, these all need to go through special processes to get them to that stage, meaning that not all toys with these materials are safe. Check out my material guide for more information, but you’re definitely always best off with silicone!

Still unsure about something I covered here? Got a question of your own you are just dying to know the answer to? I’m always happy to answer anything, so feel free to either contact me through any of my social media channels or my contact page! I’ll add your question to the next issue, get back to you privately if it’s a personal matter, or even create a whole new guide post on it!

Further reading:

• Beginner’s Guide To Sex Toys
• Beginner’s Guide To Butt Plugs
• Beginner’s Guide To Sex Dolls
• Sex Toy Materials Guide