Review: Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo

Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo

The last few years my collection of metal dildos has seen a rapid expansion, and I’m 100% here for it. Previously consisting of just my Njoy Pure Wand, I now have ample choice when it comes to playing with this unique type of toy. And as much as I love silicone, metal has become something of a new favourite. The reliable smoothness, as opposed to never knowing quite what you’re going to get with a silicone dildo, is frankly refreshing, especially for someone who isn’t always the biggest fan of some silicone’s level of tack. Plus, you haven’t really lived until you’ve warmed yourself up from the inside with a pre-heated metal dildo on a cold day. The big downside here is, of course, the price, but thanks to white-label retailers like Funzze, even that’s becoming a thing of the past. Despite being initially cautious about their Pure Wand dupe, I ended up loving it so much it earned fifth place in my Top 10 Sex Toys of 2023. So, when they recently suggested I try their latest metal creation, the Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo, I was all in.

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Top 10 Sex Toys of 2024

Top 10 Sex Toys of 2024

You didn’t think I’d let another year go by without my annual countdown, did you? Okay, okay… I know it’s February, but I promise I have a very good excuse for my recent disappearance and subsequent lack of end-of-year posting. At the time of publishing this list, there are only nine weeks to go till my wedding day, and I am low-key freaking out. Who would have thought it would be so much work… heheh. Well, apparently everyone but me, because I decided to try and plan the whole thing in just six months. This has been widely regarded ever since as a very bad idea, but at least now you understand why this post is going out so late. Although since I did originally write my Top 10 Sex Toys of 2024 in December, you’ll have to excuse any references to “this year” and “last year”. Just pretend it’s still 2024 when reading and we won’t have any problems.

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Review: BMS Swan Maximum Bullet

BMS Swan Maximum Bullet

Bullet vibrators are, in my opinion, the most important sex toy there is. And, if I could, I would gift one to everyone. Why? Well, as much as I love using wand massagers and clit suckers, they aren’t essential. But during PIV sex, I honestly don’t know where I would be without a trusty bullet. Not to mention that bullets can be enjoyed anywhere by anyone (just not anally!), and are also often necessary additions for so many other toys, from butt plugs and G-Spot vibrators, to grinders and harnesses. Because of all this, I tend to go through bullets more frequently than other types of sex toys, and I always have at least three in rotation next to my bed in case batteries are running low the moment the mood strikes. Yet, somehow, it has now been over two years since my last bullet review, and so I was thrilled when Peepshow Toys offered to send me the new BMS Swan Maximum Bullet for review.

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Best Black Friday Sex Toy Deals 2024

Black Friday Sex Toy

There’s no greater test in patience these days than the Black Friday period. This year I saw sales starting over a month in advance, and whilst they are very tempting… we all know that stores save the best deals for last. So, if you’ve kept your cool till now and resisted the urge to start shopping, congratulations! And if not, well I can hardly blame you (but will silently judge you). Either way, the big week has now arrived, and it is time to finally release all of that pent up shopping energy and make the most of the biggest retail event of the year. As usual, there is no better time to buy sex toys, yet with so many stores and products out there, it can be quite tricky to figure out where to begin. But that’s why you have me, because once again I’ve put together the ultimate guide to the Best Black Friday Sex Toy Deals of 2024. Are you ready?

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Review: Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo

Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo

I’ve loved watching the rise of the independent fantasy maker over the last few years, but one downside to the trend is the high costs associated with these products. Now, I don’t mean to imply that these toys aren’t worth their prices, of course they are. The amount of time and effort that goes into creating unique designs and then hand-crafting them to ensure maximum appeal, pleasure and safety is huge, and that’s without even considering the cost of silicone, equipment, and all of the other fees and skill sets required to run any small business. Yet I am also aware that it has created a divide between those who can and those who cannot afford them, therefore making anyone looking for a cheaper option more susceptible to instead accepting, either knowingly or unknowingly, a toy made of unsafe materials as an alternative. So, when I saw Funzze had their own version of a fantasy dildo, and for less than $40 USD, I knew it was something I had to investigate further.

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Review: Hot Octopuss PULSE QUEEN

Hot Octopuss PULSE QUEEN

I’m someone who values quality over quantity, which is a trait you’ll notice many of my favourite sex toy manufacturers share. Yet even I have been starting to get a little impatient waiting for the next Hot Octopuss release. I’ve tried every single one of their vaginal toys (as well as a few of their masturbators) since they started making them back in 2017, although while that sounds impressive there have actually only been four, with one of those since being discontinued. It has to be one of the smallest collections of any award-winning adult brand, but whatever they’re doing it’s working, with all three of the currently available products being absolutely top notch and some of the best toys I own. Yet it’s now been almost four years since the last release, so where’s my new obsession? Well, it turns out we have to first go back to that discontinued toy.

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