Review: Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo

Recently I’ve been getting more into make-up and skincare, partly due to TikTok. I love watching people’s routines, although many of the products these influencers use are far too costly for me to even consider buying. That was when the algorithm started recommending me “dupes”, which is a shortened version of the word duplicate and young people slang for a product that is very similar to a popular competitor, yet cheaper. For the first time, make-up felt accessible to me, and these dupes have been the perfect entry-point for someone who is still learning what they like and who is not yet ready to commit to a luxury purchase. Anyway, the reason why I am telling you this story, is because when I saw today’s review item, I immediately felt like I was one of those TikTok beauty influencers, like I had the chance to help someone just starting out on their sex toy journey, just like they helped me. Because at $108 AUD / $70 USD, the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo is the closest dupe of the legendary Njoy Pure Wand I’ve ever seen, and at less than half the price!

Is It Ethical?

I’d be remiss if I didn’t start this review with a note on ethics. It’s a larger conversation that I cannot entirely cover here, and one that I enjoy a healthy debate over. At its heart, almost every toy in this industry is a dupe or a copy of another. Rarely do we see true innovation, such as the recent Snail Vibe or the original Womanizer. Because of this, it can be easy to get used to the endless cycle of similar products as a sex toy reviewer. Recently, however, unethical practices relating to the emerging independent maker scene have become more common, with designs being stolen from these one or two person teams (sometimes, horrifyingly, before they even release the product themselves, as thieves reference work-in-progress shots posted on social media). It has put these issues right at the forefront of my mind, and so I was careful to get a better understanding of Njoy before completing this review. It turns out not much information is publically available about their company, with most interviews with the CEO being conducted well over a decade ago. But considering Njoy are the leading manufacturer of stainless steel sex toys worldwide, and their products can be found at pretty much every good retailer, I think it’s safe to say that they aren’t a micro- or even small-business. This doesn’t necessarily make Funzze’s use of the design right, but it introduces far more shades of gray to the problem. From my perspective as a reviewer, I am constantly asked about G-Spot dildo recommendations, as very few people can afford the Njoy Pure Wand, despite it being widely known as the best toy for the job. In fact, since I reviewed it in 2016, the price has only risen, now costing a whopping $240 AUD / $164 USD. So to have such an affordable alternative presented to me for review, is hard to pass up. And at the end of the day, people are going to buy this over the Pure Wand, regardless of what I do, and I would rather test it and find out for myself about any issues it may have, than refuse it because I’m worried about negative reactions (just like I did for Funzze’s problematic glitter dildos, which they have now pulled from their website on my advice). Of course, you’ll need to decide for yourself how you feel about this issue, and I’d be interested to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.

Product Description

At first glance, the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo is identical to the Njoy Pure Wand. However, once you place the two side-by-side, the differences start to become clear. The most obvious is that whilst Njoy include their logo at the shaft’s mid-point, Funzze do not. Next, you might notice that the quality is not the same. Whilst the Pure Wand features a flawless finish with no seams, the Stainless Steel Dildo is a bit darker, a bit more patchy (it can be polished smooth, but it doesn’t stay like this naturally in the same way that the Pure Wand does), and features seams around its two bulbs. Finally, there are slight variations in regards to the shape of the toy, and the whole thing is slightly smaller, with Funzze’s version having a diameter of 2.29cm / .9″ for its smaller bulb and 3.56cm / 1.4″ for its larger, alongside a weight of 483g. Outside of all this, everything else that makes the Pure Wand so great is present. It uses that classic double-ended dildo design, with its wide curve housing a different experience at each end due to the alternate sizes. The stainless steel material is then cold and smooth to the touch, and even though it isn’t as perfect as the Pure Wand’s, I don’t find myself minding considering that price difference. It is also fully waterproof and safe for anal use, and as usual Funzze provide a one-year warranty with it.

Packaging

My order with Funzze for the Stainless Steel Dildo was placed on the 7th of July and it arrived on the 16th. An improvement from my last order with them was that the package was 100% discreet, with no mention of the sender or what was inside. As for the toy itself, this arrived in Funzze’s usual plain cardboard box, which features a pink and black security strip with the brand logo on it (which is removable if you’d rather keep the box discreet for storage). Inside this you’ll find the Stainless Steel Dildo bubble-wrapped safely, alongside a gold branded storage bag (which is a little large for the toy), as well as a small business card explaining the warranty.

My Experience

Inserting either end of the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo is easy since they are both fairly small, plus the weight and smoothness of the metal helps too. Although I’d also recommend first warming the toy slightly under some warm water, as otherwise it can be very cold (this is a must in winter). The start of play is also the place where I find the difference between this toy and the Njoy Pure Wand most obvious, as you can really feel the variation in weight and size. Once inside, the sensations are all very familiar, and the Stainless Steel Dildo can find my G-Spot and begin to stimulate it immediately. The surprise contradiction that makes the Pure Wand so special, is that even though it is the heaviest dildo I own, it is the easiest to use in regards to the pressure it puts on my wrists and arms (since all of the weight is in me, and all I need to do is rock it back and forth), and I’m glad to confirm that Funzze’s version is the same. Being less heavy, I perhaps need to put a little bit more effort in, and being smaller, the stimulation is perhaps not as intense. But my god is it there, and the difference between the two is truly so small that you’d be hard pressed to believe they’re different products. And, of course, this means that the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo is one of the best dildos I’ve ever used, providing some truly epic orgasms when paired with a soft clitoral toy like the We-Vibe Touch X. As for the two different sides, I typically prefer to start with the smaller end before moving onto the larger (the advantage with metal, compared to silicone, is that lube and vaginal fluids can be cleanly wiped away with a tissue, allowing for an easy switch of sides during use), although both are superb at G-Spot stimulation, just with the larger also providing a more filling feeling.

Cleaning & Care

Being waterproof and stainless steel, caring for the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo is easy. After use, simply wash it with warm soapy water and rinse. To sterilize it, which should be done before switching between partners or from vaginal to anal play, you can boil it for one minute, submerge it in a 10% bleach solution, or pop it in the top rack of the dishwasher and run it through a full cycle. You can then store it in its bag or packaging for safe keeping, although another advantage of stainless steel is that it won’t attract lint or dust between uses.

Final Thoughts

For almost 20 years, the Njoy Pure Wand has been the stainless steel G-Spot dildo. Nothing has ever quite compared, and whilst I love it so, its eye-watering price tag has been the source of much frustration in my life, turning something that I wish everyone could enjoy, into a toy that only some can afford. And while I’ve patiently watched other toys go down in price over the years, it has only risen, to the point where I struggle to recommend it at all anymore. So, ethics aside, when I saw the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo, I knew I had to try it out. It was either going to be great, and finally provide an affordable option for one of the world’s most iconic sex toy designs. Or, it was going to be bad, and I would be able to warn people, and potentially even Funzze, away from it. I’m so glad it was the former option, and for anyone out there that has always wanted a Pure Wand but couldn’t afford it: now is your chance! The downside to all of this is the lack of brand trust, because whilst Njoy are very upfront about their manufacturing process and materials, with their toys lasting a lifetime, Funzze are not. Will there be issues with its quality down the track? I don’t know, but that, and the ethical decision you need to decide for yourself, are the concerns you need to consider before making a purchase. In my opinion though, just like how I know those make-up dupes might not be as good nor last as long as the brand’s they replicate, for me, it’s worth it when I can’t justify the real thing. And once I try it, maybe I’ll even like it enough to give me that justification.

You can get the Stainless Steel Dildo directly from Funzze for just $108.16 AUD / $69.99 USD!

Last updated: 20/8/23

Price at the time of writing: $108.16 AUD / $69.99 USD

This post was sponsored by Funzze, but as always, all opinions are my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.