After spending the last few months updating Princess Previews, I’ve had plenty of time to think about the direction I want to head in the future. While reviews are my bread and butter, I also want this to be a hub for all kinds of resources and education about sex toys. But while my guides are some of my most popular posts, and I regularly write them for other websites, I surprisingly have very few of them here. So I resolved to fix that, but the only question was, where did I start? There’s so many things to talk about when it comes to this industry, from choosing your first toy and ethical brands, to the different kinds of orgasms and lube. It seemed, however, the best place to start was at the very beginning, so that’s why today I’m sharing my Beginner’s Guide To Sex Toys.
Obviously the world of sex toys is a big one. I could easily write a book on all the different types, how to use them, how to choose them, and even how to lose responsibility dispose of them. But that wouldn’t be very beginner’s friendly. Instead, I want to share a brief overview of sex toys, in the hopes it’ll give you a basic understanding of what they are and how they can make your life better. In future guides I hope to expand upon the elements discussed here, for those interested in learning more.
So, let’s start at the beginning…
What Is A Sex Toy?
“Sex toys are tools that provide pleasure.”
Much like a comfortable chair or foot bath, sex toys help us to feel good. The only difference is that these items usually focus on erogenous zones, such as our genitalia, to offer sexual pleasure.
Since sex is such an unspoken topic in our society, sex toys sadly are too. But as their health benefits continue to be recognised, they are becoming an important part of our wellness journeys.
In addition to vibrating, thrusting, sucking, pulsating, and moving in a myriad of other ways that elicit a pleasurable response in our bodies, sex toys can:
- Be used during sex, masturbation, brief moments of pause, or even long periods of time
- Improve our sleep, as well as decrease stress and boost mental health
- Connect us to our bodies, aiding confidence and positivity
- Treat vaginal pain or tightness, such as vaginismus, and penile dysfunction, such as premature ejaculation
- And sooooo much more!
Who Can Use Them?
Sex toys can be enjoyed by anyone with anyone, regardless of body type, gender, relationship status or sexuality.
While a downside to internet marketing is the need to label everything, sex toy use can be fluid. So while you may see these products divided into those for men and those for women, this can mostly be ignored. If something vibrates, you can bet it’s going to feel good against your underwear, no matter what’s underneath. Similarly, there’s no such thing as a “gay” sex toy, and sticking something up your butt won’t magically change your sexuality.
Another assumption placed on sex toys is that those in relationships don’t need them, with some people even feeling intimated by their presence in the bedroom. But all they are is a helpful and optional addition, the same as condoms or mood lighting, and not something that can ever replace or take away from human intimacy. In fact, couples that do use them report higher levels of sexual and relationship satisfaction.
What Types Of Sex Toys Are There?
With so many different types of sex toys out there, it’s no wonder people often feel overwhelmed when trying to choose their first one! That’s why I’ve broken it down into the six core products that you need to know to get started.
Dildos
Diverse dildos ft. the Tantus Magma, Icicles No. 24, Vixen Mustang, and Njoy Pure Wand
Dildos are the oldest and most basic type of sex toy, and a perfect place to start if you don’t know what you’re after. They are non-electrical, meaning you don’t need to worry about noise or paying extra for fancy features, and are often just made of one solid material. Typically designed to look like a penis (although all sorts of non-phallic and fantasy designs also exist), they are usually intended to enter the vagina and mimic the sensations of penetrative sex, although if a flared base is present they may also be used in the anus.
The most common feature of a dildo is its long cylindrical shape, which may be curved for G- or P- spot stimulation. Since dildos are often cheaper to make than other toys, there is also a greater variety of them, especially when it comes to size. So it’s vital to always double check the measurements when buying one, and when in doubt, start small!
Vibrators
Good vibes only ft. We-Vibe Tango X, Magic Wand Rechargeable, We-Vibe Chorus, and We-Vibe Nova 2
Now we’ve covered dildos, it’s time to move on to their hip electronic cousin, the vibrator! Containing a motor which produces sensations we find pleasurable when applied to the body, these toys have the advantage in that they can be enjoyed externally as well as internally, allowing them to work in a wider range of situations. This creates a lot of sub-categories, which I’ll explain some of below, but the main thing to keep in mind is that since they’re electronic, you’ll need to consider aspects such as battery life, noise, functions, and so forth.
Bullet Vibrators
The most basic type of vibrator, I am a firm believer that everyone should own at least one bullet vibrator. While they can range in price and design, most are extremely cheap and simple, with a bullet-shaped body just big enough to house a battery and a single button on the end for access to a few vibration modes. This also allows them to be versatile, and they can be easily placed anywhere on the body for external pleasure.
Wand Vibrators
For those who crave more power than a bullet vibrator can give them, there is the wand vibrator. With an appearance similar to a back massager (and a lot of crossover between them), these large appliances contain motors far stronger than any other type of sex toy. Like bullets, they can again be used anywhere on the body, but their large size does make this a little more tricky. The popular Hitachi, now known as the Magic Wand, formed not only the blueprint for the wand vibrator, but is widely considered the most iconic sex toy of all time.
Internal Vibrators
Like dildos, vibrators can also be used internally. Vaginal styles are offered referred to as internal or G-Spot vibrators, whilst those for the anus are called prostate massagers. Being roughly halfway in size between a bullet and wand, the motors in these toys are typically quite strong, and can also be used externally if you’re looking to get the most out of one toy.
Another type of internal toy solely for the vagina is the couples vibrator, which was popularized by toys like the We-Vibe Chorus. These C-shaped products are inserted into the vagina for use during penetrative sex, to offer hands-free stimulation for both parties.
Dual-Stimulators
Can’t decide whether you should get an internal or external vibrator? That’s what dual-stimulators, also known as rabbits, are for. With a small arm for clitoral or perineum pleasure and a longer one for insertion into the vagina or anus, both areas of your body can enjoy vibrations at the same time. The only downside to these toys is that they need to make assumptions about your body measurements, but as everyone is different, that can be hard to achieve. Thankfully recent toys like the We-Vibe Nova 2 and Snail VIbe have all but fixed these issues, with their unique and flexible designs working for a wider range of bodies than ever before.
Suction Stimulators
The next level ft. Satisfyer Pro 2, SOULNIGHT whale butt plug, Hot Octopuss PULSE DUO, and ROMP Juke
A new type of sex toy that has only popped into existence over the last few years is the suction, or air pulse, stimulator. Invented by brands Womanizer and Satisfyer, these toys feature a chamber that can be fitted over the clitoris, and sometimes even the penis. Pressure waves then work to create a pleasurable sucking sensation, and they’re frequently paired with vibrations too. While a few other manufacturers offer them, the patent laws mean you’re probably best off sticking with the original makers for now.
Plugs
Plugs are similar to dildos, in that they are used internally and are usually non-electrical. The difference is, while dildos have those long shafts that are good for thrusting, plugs literally plug your hole. Short and stout, these toys typically feature bulbous ends and wide bases, so that they can sit comfortably inside of you whilst you go about your day. While vaginal plugs, like the SquarePegToys G squeeze, are a rising trend, butt plugs are the most common type, and outside of silicone vibrating options, the majority consist of solid materials. The metal SOULNIGHT whale butt plug is one such example of this, which, in addition to being plated with 18K gold, has to option to be accessorised with a fox or rabbit tail and comes in two sizes.
Masturbators
While technically all sex toys could be classified as masturbators, this category is used to refer to toys that are designed specifically for the penis. This includes sleeves intended to look like vaginas or other body parts, which were popularized by the brand Fleshlight, and more pricey electronic options such as Hot Octopuss’s PULSE vibrator. Whichever you choose, the main idea is that penis can be inserted into these toys to create pleasurable sensations that mimic penetration.
Cock Rings
Finally, cock rings are another type of toy that is designed specifically for the penis. Typically as simple as a stretchy ring, the intention here is to restrict blood flow to allow for harder erections that also last longer. This is particularly good during couples play, and vibrating versions also exist to provide stimulation for both parties during penetrative sex.
Choosing The Right Toy For You
Choosing your first sex toy is a whole other guide, and one I hope to write soon. But before I leave you, here are a few things to consider:
What do you like?
Whenever someone asks me for advice on buying a sex toy, my first (and really only) question is: how do you already like to be stimulated? Assuming you’ve masturbated or had sex before, you should have a rough idea of this. Do you finger yourself or orgasm from penetration alone? Start with a dildo. Do you enjoy grinding and need clitoral stimulation during sex? Grab a bullet vibrator. Whatever you like now, there’s a toy out there to elevate it.
Who is it for?
This may seem a strange question, but the majority of people who ask for my help choosing a sex toy are asking on behalf of someone else, for example men wanting to “surprise” their wives or girlfriends. In this case, I would suggest talking to them first, because even the most good-natured gift can come off as pressured. If you are really adamant for it to be unexpected though, then go for a gift card instead, so you can later choose together.
What is it made of?
Not all sex toys are created equal, and this is never as true as when it comes to their materials. You see, since the industry isn’t regulated, manufacturers can get away with using potentially dangerous and harmful materials to cut costs, and they can lie about it too. I have a whole guide on sex toy materials, which also contains information on how to care and clean them, but for the majority of toys just know that silicone is the way to go, and to avoid transparent looking materials, such as jelly.
Where are you buying it?
Want to avoid the type of unethical manufacturers who lie about what’s in their products? Or the thousands of counterfeit, non-body-safe, white-label products that saturate the market? A good place to start is avoiding websites like Amazon and eBay, because trust me when I say those savings just aren’t worth it. Instead, take a look at my Where To Buy page for my recommended retailers, and don’t forget to take note of my discounts too for some sweet savings.
Got questions or have a request for my next guide? Let me know and I’ll get back to you.
Further reading:
This post was sponsored by SOULNIGHT, but as always, all opinions are my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.