Balls

Dildos, Funzze, Reviews, Silicone

Review: Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo

Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo

I’ve loved watching the rise of the independent fantasy maker over the last few years, but one downside to the trend is the high costs associated with these products. Now, I don’t mean to imply that these toys aren’t worth their prices, of course they are. The amount of time and effort that goes into creating unique designs and then hand-crafting them to ensure maximum appeal, pleasure and safety is huge, and that’s without even considering the cost of silicone, equipment, and all of the other fees and skill sets required to run any small business. Yet I am also aware that it has created a divide between those who can and those who cannot afford them, therefore making anyone looking for a cheaper option more susceptible to instead accepting, either knowingly or unknowingly, a toy made of unsafe materials as an alternative. So, when I saw Funzze had their own version of a fantasy dildo, and for less than $40 USD, I knew it was something I had to investigate further.

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Dildos, Funzze, Reviews, Silicone

Review: Funzze Mini Realistic Dildo

Funzze Mini Realistic Dildo

Recently I’ve been spending a lot of time at r/SexToys helping to answer people’s questions (say hi if you see me!), and I’ve realised most posts fall into one of two categories. There are the beginners who have no idea where to start or what would work best for them, and then there is the exact opposite: people who know exactly what they want and just need help finding it. It’s made me more aware of just how versatile our desires can be, with many of these requests being for toys outside of the norm (hence why they’re struggling to locate them), particularly when it comes to sizing. I’m so accustomed to the average 18cm / 7″ length and 3.8cm / 1.5″ diameter of penetrables that I barely even stop to think about it, yet it seems there are plenty of people out there yearning for something different, from toys that are long and thin, short and thick, and every possible combination in between. So, when Funzze approached me about collaborating with them, I was instantly intrigued when I saw the Mini Realistic Dildo in their new arrivals.

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Reviews, Silicone, Thruster, USB Rechargeable

Review: AcmeJoy Ferrill Thruster

AcmeJoy Ferrill Thruster

I’m a big fan of Dildo Nightmares, and whenever I see a toy that fits the brief, I can’t help but share it to my socials. In this regard, the AcmeJoy Ferrill Thruster has become a regular, with its realistic dual-stimulator style growth that looks straight out of an eldritch abomination. It never fails to freak people out and get some laughs, something I’m always more than happy to provide. So, when AcmeJoy recently reached out and asked if I would like to review something from their store, it was the first thing that came to my mind. Then, perhaps against my better judgement, I requested it, and now here we are. I do wonder, as the thing sits across from me, am I now cursed for daring to put something so depraved inside of myself? Mostly likely, but alas, let us continue with the review.

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Closetplay Sex Toys, Dildos, Reviews, Silicone

Review: Closetplay Speedster

Closetplay Speedster

In October 2021 the sex toy world suffered a huge loss. Geeky Sex Toys, Australia’s first (and, for a long time, only) independent maker of silicone toys, closed their virtual doors. Pioneers of the fantasy genre, they introduced the idea of mixing pop culture with sex toys for all us “naughty nerds” out there, and as it turned out, there were a lot of us. But while they might have been the first to bring us the lightsaber dildo and Pikachu butt plug, they certainly won’t be the last. Many retailers, from other indie makers such as Deep N’ Geek to big brands like The Realm by Blush Novelties, have taken inspiration from Geeky Sex Toys over the years. However, I don’t think any have quite captured their almost chaotic creativity quite like newcomer Closetplay Sex Toys.

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Dildos, Lovehoney, Reviews, Silicone

Review: Lovehoney Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo

Lovehoney Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo Lights On

As an Australian I don’t tend to make as big as a deal here about the current spooky season as some of my overseas friends, but growing up in Britain means that Halloween is still very much a holiday that holds a dear place in my heart. Still, it’s because of this, and my usual affinity for cute rather than horror toys, that it’s not often you’ll find me participating in any spooktober-style reviews. So when Lovehoney recently reached out to me about their new October releases, my eyes were immediately drawn to the adorable-looking Glow-in-the-Dark Dildo far more than any of their Halloween inspired products. Little did I know however, that when the lights are turned off this dildo become possibly the most spooky of them all! Thus, for the very first time, here I am with a extra special Halloween review!

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Bestvibe, Dildos, Reviews, Silicone

Review: Bestvibe Realistic Dildo

Bestvibe Realistic Dildo

I’ve been reviewing vibrators from Chinese white-label retailers, such as Bestvibe, Adorime and Paloqueth, for many years now. While their designs may be pretty out there and websites often lack proper translation, the products themselves are typically great quality for the amount you pay. Plus, at the end of the day, these sorts of budget options that are primarily sold through sites like Amazon are always going to be much more widely purchased than the hundred-dollar sex toys I often find myself reviewing. But there has been one aspect of all of these stores that I have avoided till now, and that is their range of dildos. Dildos, unlike vibrators, are much more likely to be secretly made from non-body safe materials, and I have never quite trusted that this won’t be the case with these retailers. More and more lately I’ve been receiving messages from readers who have noticed my affiliation with these sites though and want to know my thoughts on their “silicone” toys, and it just hasn’t felt right that I continue to support these companies whilst also harbouring these kinds of concerns. So, that was when I decided it was finally time to take one for the team, and I requested the Realistic Dildo from Bestvibe. I figured, if it is silicone then it’ll be a great budget-friendly option to recommend to people, and if it is not then I won’t be able to test and review it anyway, plus I’ll know to cease my support.

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