I’ve been wanting to expand into reviewing products designed for the penis, testicles, and prostate for years. But as it’s not something I can do myself, it was starting to seem like it was never gong to happen. I haven’t ever met anyone I felt I could trust to do the job professionally enough for me, and sex toys aren’t something my partner has ever shown interest in for himself. That was, however, until Hot Octopuss contacted me about reviewing for them and I showed him the PULSE range. Hot Octopuss are a brand who excel at marketing, and he was quickly drawn in by how cool and modern their website is, as well as the sleek design of their multi-award winning toy. For the first time he actually wanted to try out a toy, and this was definitely helped by the fact that the PULSE DUO can also work for couples. So, here we are, about to jump into my first ever penis masturbator review with the help of my partner!
Review: Paloqueth Dolphin Vibrator
The first sex toy I ever took notice of was the original We-Vibe couples vibrator, which has now been followed up by toys like the We-Vibe Chorus. Even though this was back when I was in high school, I remember it being a big deal and watching the toy break through into the mainstream (or as mainstream as a sex toy can be). I enthusiastically told all my friends how much I loved the idea of it, and tried very hard to win one when I attended my first ever sex convention that year. Despite then going on to work in the sex industry and review toys professionally, I still never got the opportunity to review that infamous style of toy that started it all for me. It certainly hasn’t been without me trying though, as numerous times I’ve had offers to review a couples vibe only for it to fall through. But here I am, finally, after all these years, with my first ever couples vibrator. It may not be a We-Vibe, but I was ridiculously excited to try out the Paloqueth Dolphin anyway.
Review: Hot Octopuss Queen Bee
The Hot Octopuss Queen Bee is one of those toys that everyone knew about and wanted when it was released. The UK brand is known for their innovative penis-oriented pleasure products, so when they announced they were working on a toy for the clitoris, it was a big deal. Not just for sex toy reviewers like me either, as Hot Octopuss have a fantastic marketing team that had even the general public literally lining up to try this toy. Just the PR for this product was so good that it beat out McDonalds for an award on it, which I can’t imagine is an easy feat. But when the toy was finally released into the hands of reviewers… the thoughts were, well, mixed. I’ve heard fantastic things and I’ve heard not-so-fantastic things about this product. But that only made me want it more, how could a product have so many different opinions? Due to all this I was super excited when Hot Octopuss got in contact with me recently to review it for them.
Review: ZALO Queen Set
Back in 2017 I worked with a Chinese sex toy manufacturer that was looking to reach out to the western market. Their name was ZALO, and their products were like nothing I’ve ever seen before. While their designs weren’t particularly new, the actual appearance of their products were amazing, taking design cues from Versailles and Lolita styles (which these collections are adequately named after) to create a range of products fit for a princess, or even a magical girl if you check out their Sweet Magic collection. I promoted ZALO as a sponsor for 3 months, and spent every minute of it lusting after their products, but my tight schedule back then meant I never actually got to test anything. Since then I’ve heard nothing but good things about the company and their US expansion, with their newly released Queen Set winning the coveted Luxury Pleasure Product of the Year award at XBIZ Europa. So when JOUJOU recently approached me to review it, therefore finally giving me the opportunity to try a ZALO toy for myself, what do you think I said?
Review: Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit
I don’t think I’ve ever doubted a sex toy more than with the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit (also known as the Satisfyer Pro + G-Spot), as soon as I saw it I thought it was a bad idea. I’m automatically suspicious of all rabbit style vibrators, because it can be so hard to find one that will actually suit your body. Companies who make them seem to assume the distance between the clitoris and vaginal opening, and if you don’t fit into that measurement, or the small window of flexibility that some offer, then you’re probably going to be down a hundred bucks and left with a vibrator you can’t use. Certainly if you find one that does suit your body then they can be amazing, and I have actually had some pretty good luck with the rabbit style vibes I have tried so far, but as a blogger I feel unprofessional recommending toys that I know probably won’t work for a lot of people, even if it does work for me. Then bring Satisfyer’s suction-style toys into the picture, a range of products that I have trouble placing on my clitoris when it’s the only thing I have to do… yeah, that doesn’t sound like the best match. But, Satisfyer do seem to continually prove me wrong and have produced nothing but astounding toys so far, so I thought I should at least give them some credit and try out their latest innovation, who knows, maybe it’ll surprise me.
Review: Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration
This is my third review of a Satisfyer toy, and since I absolutely adored the last two, I have very high expectations. While there was no actual functional difference between my other two versions, the Satisfyer Pro 2 and Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation, it was all the little improvements, such as more intuitive buttons, less noise, and a larger nozzle, that made the Pro Penguin feel on a whole other level. But while my new model, the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration (also known as the Satisfyer Pro 1+), has similar little fixes, it also features a whole other function. Can you guess what it is (hint: it’s in the name)? That’s right, this is a Satisfyer toy that can also vibrate! It seems like such an obvious and simple improvement, but I never even considered it prior to hearing about this toy. It also sounds amazing, and so I instantly knew I had to get my hands on one of these. Thankfully Nikki Darling were kind enough to send one my way, so let’s see if it’s as good as it sounds!