Review: Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo

I’ve loved watching the rise of the independent fantasy maker over the last few years, but one downside to the trend is the high costs associated with these products. Now, I don’t mean to imply that these toys aren’t worth their prices, of course they are. The amount of time and effort that goes into creating unique designs and then hand-crafting them to ensure maximum appeal, pleasure and safety is huge, and that’s without even considering the cost of silicone, equipment, and all of the other fees and skill sets required to run any small business. Yet I am also aware that it has created a divide between those who can and those who cannot afford them, therefore making anyone looking for a cheaper option more susceptible to instead accepting, either knowingly or unknowingly, a toy made of unsafe materials as an alternative. So, when I saw Funzze had their own version of a fantasy dildo, and for less than $40 USD, I knew it was something I had to investigate further.

Product Description

I’m always talking about the paradox that is Funzze: low prices, high-quality. And their 9″ Fantasy Dildo is no different. But I have to admit, when I first requested this product to review (which was quite some time ago, and its listing has been updated a few times since then) I had an ulterior motive. Despite being repeatedly advertised as a beginner’s friendly toy, the 9″ Fantasy Dildo appears huge. I really thought there must be a mistake with the listing, and I wanted to prove it. It’s not just a problem with the online images either, my partner saw this toy for the first time yesterday and was shocked, asking me if I was okay. Yet it turns out that the 9″ Fantasy Dildo isn’t nearly as intimidating as it first seems, with its size being more in length than girth (7.5″ of the shaft is insertable). In fact, its widest point is only a slightly above average 1.55″, and even this only appears briefly before gradually tapering out. The thing that makes the biggest impact though to the 9″ Fantasy Dildo’s beginner’s friendly claim is just how soft it is, and to my surprise (since it is not listed as such anywhere) this dildo is actually dual-density. That means the toy features an incredibly squishy outer layer paired with a firm inner core, giving it a more realistic feeling. Plus, the first few inches of the toy (and the balls!) are made up entirely of the softer silicone, aiding insertion tremendously.

Of course, there is more to this toy than just its size and density. As expected due to its namesake, the Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo does avoid the typical realistic dildo design, although the overall shape of it is still quite phallic. This makes it a good entry-point for those new to fantasy or textured dildos, with it even having regular realistic testicles at the end of the shaft. What exactly the fantasy being depicted here though is left up to interpretation, which I think is a smart choice on Funzze’s part. Personally, I tend to jump between two very different options: a dragon, with the repeated ridges making up its scales, or a mechanical being, with the raised bumps running down the shaft and under the head reminding me of rivets. Whatever you desire, a realistic style head with foreskin is then present at the top, and at the other end you’ll find a suction cup. Finally, this toy is made of black body-safe silicone, allowing it to be waterproof, and its base means it is both anal-safe and harness compatible.

Packaging

My order with Funzze for the 9″ Fantasy Dildo was placed on the 19th of July and I received it on the 28th. As usual with this brand, the box was 100% discreet, with no mention of the sender or what was contained within. Another consistent aspect I love about Funzze is their packaging, with the 9″ Fantasy Dildo coming in a simple cardboard box branded with just a removable slip of paper, for maximum reusability and discretion. The toy then came with a small card detailing Funzze’s one year warranty, a gold branded storage bag that fits the 9″ Fantasy Dildo perfectly, and a small user manual. I definitely didn’t expect this last bit as typically dildos don’t come with instructions, so this small guide on how to care for your toy was a really nice added touch from Funzze.

My Experience

Despite all my worries relating to the size of this toy, inserting the Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo is actually somewhat easy thanks to its tapered shaft and that super squishy silicone tip. Really the most noticeable thing is just all that texture, as this is when all those ridges and small bumps really start to make themselves known. That being said, due to the smoothness and softness of the silicone, even though there is a lot going on texture-wise, I don’t find the sensation to be overwhelming, rather feeling like a gentle ribbing. And so once again I really do think this is an ideal toy for those who are looking to try some texture on their dildos at an approachable level. Plus, these ridges have the added effect of being able to stimulate my G-Spot a little as they glide past, and this is reinforced by the gradual size increase followed by the introduction of the firm core, which creates a satisfying stretching sensation. Being so long then allows me to bend the toy to better target key areas within my vagina for heightened stimulation, although the biggest advantage its length provides is definitely being able to use it for A-Spot stimulation. I find thrusting it then allows me to achieve some next level pleasure, especially when paired with a clitoral vibrator like the We-Vibe Touch X. As for the balls, initially I thought I wouldn’t be able to feel these as the toy’s length puts them just out of reach, but I found as I continued play that inserting the full length gets slowly easier, and this is aided by that soft head that avoids any of the usual discomfort I might feel inserting a toy so deeply, allowing me to instead enjoy the sensation of the testicles hitting against my vulva. Plus, whilst I don’t tend to make use of suction cups, I do have to give a shout-out to how well it worked as a handle for this toy, which I really appreciated.

Suction Cup

Speaking of suction cups, the one offered on the Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo is super strong, staying firmly stuck to whatever flat surface it is applied to. Plus, unlike the last Funzze suction cup dildo I tested, the Mini Realistic Dildo, this toy actually has the length to make use of it, being ideal for play attached to walls or floors. Its length can also be a downside, of course, adding extra weight and flexibility that the suction cup needs to then support, especially when compared to a much shorter toy like the Mini Realistic Dildo, but the trade off is definitely worth it in my opinion.

Cleaning & Care

As the Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo is 100% silicone and waterproof, cleaning it is easy. To start, I’d recommend soaking it in some warm water, and then you’ll want to go over it with a soft spare toothbrush and soap before rinsing. Leave it to air dry, and after this you can place it into its storage bag to keep clean, as otherwise it will attract dust and hair. Because it is textured, you may also want to sterilise it every now and then, or when switching the toy between orifices or partners, and whilst Funzze does not mention a recommended method, you should be able to follow my suggestions here. Finally, only use water-based lubricants with this product, as other kinds may damage the toy’s material.

Final Thoughts

I’ve been wanting to try the Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo for what feels like forever, unsure if it could really be true. A silicone fantasy toy for under $40 USD? A 9″ dildo aimed at beginners? I was sceptical right up until the last moment. But none of that compared to my surprise when I felt it in my hands for the first time and realised it was dual-density! Typically reserved for premium toys (although it has slowly become more common thankfully), the soft squishy silicone outer layer finally made me understand why this toy was being advertised for beginners, making it feel smaller than it actually is. This, however, only made the price tag more confusing, but I suppose that is the typical nature of Funzze’s paradox! Either way, this toy was a blast to use, and it really is such a fantastic option for those looking for a way to introduce some unrealistic texture into their play whilst still keeping that familiar phallic shape, or as a cheaper alternative to other fantasy toys on the market. Not to mention how great it would be for anyone like me who prefers a manageable, yet still filling, girth when it comes to penetration, whether you are a beginner or an experienced toy user!

You can get the 9″ Fantasy Dildo directly from Funzze for just $58 AUD / $37.99 USD!

Last updated: 6/11/24

Price at the time of writing: $58 AUD / $37.99 USD

This post was sponsored by Funzze, but as always, all opinions are my own.