Review: Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo

The last few years my collection of metal dildos has seen a rapid expansion, and I’m 100% here for it. Previously consisting of just my Njoy Pure Wand, I now have ample choice when it comes to playing with this unique type of toy. And as much as I love silicone, metal has become something of a new favourite. The reliable smoothness, as opposed to never knowing quite what you’re going to get with a silicone dildo, is frankly refreshing, especially for someone who isn’t always the biggest fan of some silicone’s level of tack. Plus, you haven’t really lived until you’ve warmed yourself up from the inside with a pre-heated metal dildo on a cold day. The big downside here is, of course, the price, but thanks to white-label retailers like Funzze, even that’s becoming a thing of the past. Despite being initially cautious about their Pure Wand dupe, I ended up loving it so much it earned fifth place in my Top 10 Sex Toys of 2023. So, when they recently suggested I try their latest metal creation, the Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo, I was all in.

Product Description

Whilst the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo took clear inspiration from the sex toy icon that is the Njoy Pure Wand, the Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo stands alone. It may not be the most original design like the Njoy Disco was, but at the very least I’m unaware of another dildo that looks the same, with it being more like a cross between the Njoy Eleven and Njoy Fun Wand.

It is double ended, although instead of the Pure Wand’s signature curved C-shape, the Beaded Dildo uses a subtle S-shape, with the two ends going in the opposite directions. One side, the shorter of the two, is then fairly smooth, with just a tapered bulb at the very end, whilst the other side gives the toy its namesake: it features four tapered bulbs that offer a beaded effect.

Another important point of difference is that whilst the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo and Pure Wand both use almost perfect spheres at their ends, the Beaded Dildo instead uses more of a pointed egg-like shape. Plus, the girth stays consistent across both ends, with the diameter remaining around the 2.5cm / 1″ mark throughout its 21.6cm / 8.5″ length. Weighing in at 675g, the Beaded Dildo is then quite heavy thanks to its 304 stainless steel, and while Funzze do advertise it for P-Spot play, I would caution readers to avoid using this toy anally.

Packaging

My order with Funzze for the Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo was placed on the 4th of December and it arrived on the 15th. The package was then 100% discreet, with no mention of the contents or sender.

As for the toy itself, this arrived in Funzze’s usual plain cardboard box, which features a pink and black security strip with the brand logo on it (this is removable if you’d rather keep the box discreet for storage). Inside this I then found the Beaded Dildo bubble-wrapped safely (a cute extra was that the “bubbles” were heart-shaped, how sweet!), alongside a gold branded storage bag, an instruction manual, and a small guide that has details on Funzze’s one year warranty.

My Experience

Between the smooth material, the tapered heads at both ends and the slim shaft, inserting the Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo is easy. Although I do highly recommend heating it in some hot water first, especially if it’s a cold day.

In testing it out, I automatically gravitated to the smoother end, as despite my excitement for the toy I haven’t had the best time in the past with these sorts of hard beaded designs. So, you can imagine my disappointment when I found this more promising end to be a complete dud. Not curved enough to do anything but brush past my G-Spot, trying to get there manually doesn’t make much of a difference either as the S-shape means I just end up pushing the beaded end of the toy into my mattress. And without enough girth or length to make thrusting or plugging pleasurable, there’s little point to use, especially when I have so many other G-Spot dildos that can do a far better job. Plus, the beaded end makes for an uncomfortable handle, whilst the shape and weight of the toy means that if I’m not constantly holding onto it, it’ll simply fall out of me.

Just when I thought all hope was lost, I tried the beaded end. And that’s is when I truly understood the toy’s namesake. Despite having a similar level of curve, this end of the toy is able to find my G-Spot with relative ease, over and over again. Because every time those beads rub their way past, it’s like a symphony of pleasure. Paired with a soft clitoral vibe, such as the We-Vibe Touch X, using the Beaded Dildo is then an extremely enjoyable experience, and one that I dare say I tend to prefer over Njoy’s latest release. Thrusting is where it shines in particular, as the beads are able to stimulate my G-Spot repeatedly. Of course, this is nothing compared to the sensations the Pure Wand evokes for only a fraction of the effort, but it is also different enough to stand on its own and be enjoyed in its own regard.

Cleaning & Care

Being waterproof and metal, caring for the Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo is easy. After use, simply wash it with warm soapy water and rinse. To sterilise it, which should be done before switching between partners or from vaginal to anal play, you can then boil it for one minute, submerge it in a 10% bleach solution, or pop it in the top rack of the dishwasher and run it through a full cycle. Later, store it in its bag or packaging for safe keeping, although another advantage of stainless steel is that it won’t attract lint or dust between uses.

Final Thoughts

There’s a reason why I never got another Njoy toy after loving the Pure Wand so much. Because, other than the recently released Disco, I have zero interest in the rest of their vaginal range. After all, they only sell two other dildos, neither seem like they would suit my body (although maybe I should reconsider the Fun Wand now), and they are too expensive for me to take a risk on. But it has always felt a little disappointing to enjoy metal so much yet own so little of it. Now, finally, thanks to Funzze, I can start to enjoy more of what this exciting material has to offer, and without breaking the bank.

The Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo is unlike any other dildo I’ve tried, and while the smooth end fell short, the beaded side more than made up for it. It not only stimulated my G-Spot, but it did it x4, creating an unstoppable force when paired with my We-Vibe Touch X. Yes, it wasn’t as good as the Pure Wand or the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo. And yes, it is more tiring on the wrists due to all that weight without the curve to balance it out. But I still had a great time with it, and for anyone else like me who’s always wanted more out of metal dildos, this is not only exactly that, but at great value too.

You can get the Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo directly from Funzze for just $109 AUD / $69.99 USD!

Last updated: 23/5/25

Price at the time of writing: $109 AUD / $69.99 USD

This post was sponsored by Funzze, but as always, all opinions are my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.