Book Review: How To Eat Pussy Like A Rockstar

As a queer women, eating pussy is something that interests me very much. I’ve never done it and currently being in a straight monogamous relationship I don’t see myself starting any time soon, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to still learn and it’s always good to be prepared! Plus, I knew any tips I picked up I could relay onto my partner. Due to this I was super excited when author Amy J. Fillmore approached me to review her new book, How To Eat Pussy Like A Rockstar, for her.

Just to start off, I think it is important to note that as a whole I did enjoy reading this book. It is very detailed, has a lot of good tips throughout and is definitely a comprehensive guide on cunnilingus. Despite this, there was unfortunately a lot of issues, which I’ll address throughout the review.

I’ll start this review with the books biggest and most glaringly obvious flaw. When I agreed to review this book the author made sure to let me know that it is intended for a male audience and is written with that in mind. She ensured me that it can, of course, still benefit women. This was totally fine for me, it can be helpful for books to be directed at a particular audience, and due to the detail this book goes into simplifying it for just one gender makes a lot of sense. The problem, however, was the fact that even though the author had disclaimed this to me directly, there was no disclaimer or note in the book. Not once did the book ever mention or suggest that anyone outside of its male audience could ‘eat pussy’. I thought it would start off something like “Sorry queer women of the world, this book is directed at men, but please try and enjoy regardless”. Instead, it was more like “You want to eat pussy? Well of course you must be male! Let’s begin”. This issue is also addressed on the FAQ of the books website, but the answer is pretty confusing: “The book is targeted towards men because they don’t have the equipment to practice on like bisexual or lesbian women.” Is this trying to say that the the book is for men because they can’t eat out lesbians?? If so, I think they missed the point and need some sex ed ASAP. On a similarly bad note, there is absolutely no mention or disclaimer that not all men have penises, not all women have vaginas and so forth. Again, sex books can get very complicated if they start trying to attend to all genders, but a disclaimer or some sort of acknowledgement to the trans community should definitely be included in this instance. I’ll get more into my third biggest issue later, but I also found issues with only white skinny people being represented in the book. So, now we’ve touched on my four biggest issues, homophobia, transphobia, racism and fat-shaming, let’s move on.

Due to the above, I really had to take this book with a pinch of salt. The advice and tips in it were great and I’ll talk about them more in a bit. But, as a queer women with many trans friends, it was really really difficult to read at some points. I think the thing that surprises me most is that this is a male perspective book written by a female that clearly knows what she is talking about, yet she has no mention of the fact women can eat pussy just as much as men, if not more! I think this book could be useful for women if some chapters are left out and they are quite open minded, but for people outside the binary I wouldn’t recommend it.

Just a quick note, this book is only available digitally. I’m the sort of person who far prefers physical books and will always choose them over digital. But for this book it worked because the cover is way too graphic for me to read on the train or even have on my book shelf.

So, as I mentioned before this book is very detailed. Rather than just going through how to go down on someone, it has everything from the foots pleasure points to how to prepare yourself for sex. The first chapter is about the female orgasm and the second is on anatomy. Both are pretty interesting and have good information if you don’t already know this sort of thing, otherwise you can just skip it. Something I was glad to see included though was that the book goes through how everyone’s bodies are arranged differently and how that is okay. The third chapter is called “Taste and Texture” and it’s a bit of a weird one. Essentially it is just on pubic hair and the taste and smell of a vulva, and luckily it basically states for guys to keep an open mind when it comes to this sort of thing. At the end there is also a section on menstruation sex which is pretty cool. If you are a women though I would just straight up skip this section. Chapters 4 to 7 are the actual oral advice chapters, and it goes through foreplay, techniques and positions. I actually really do like all the advice given in these chapters and there is a lot of interesting techniques throughout I would be eager to try out. Consent is also mentioned often which I was thankful for, there is lots of pausing advised to check everything is ok and warnings to not do anything unwanted. My only issue with these chapters is that during the instructions it also gives examples of things you can say to your partner during sex. None of these ‘examples’ however I would find particularly sexy if a man said to me, so maybe just stick to the techniques and not the sex talk tips. Chapter 8 is on role-playing, which is more of a general ‘how to sex’ chapter rather than specifically oral sex. It goes through the basic popular role play fetishes such as doctor and schoolgirl, so you can pretty much skip this. Chapter 9 is on preparation, which was easily the most male orientated chapter of all, and if it wasn’t for this review I would have stayed far away from it since I now know way too much about nut hair and “dick cheese”. This chapter is totally gross and makes me want to avoid men rather than sleep with them. However, while it isn’t for me I guess it is good they included it, getting yourself physically ready for sex is important and one of my favourite things about this chapter is that it even goes into cleaning your apartment before a potential lover comes round, something that is far too often neglected! The last chapter is on safe sex, sexual dysfunctions and other warnings, which I thought was a good touch as well.

Right, so that is my basic review done. Like I’ve mentioned, there is good advice in it, it is just hidden amongst a lot of other crap. Unfortunately, I can’t help myself but to mention a portion of that crap, so please bear with me as I run few some more downsides to this book…

• The word pussy was used a million times. Now, I usually love the word pussy, it is my preferred name to use when I want to talk about anything relating to my vulva. I think it is cute and rather than needing to try and educate everyone I speak to about what a labia is I can just use it as an umbrella term. But I think this book made me despise it a little. There were a few times when words like vulva and vagina popped up, but not often enough. If you’re giving tips on how to best go down on a girl, you really need to just use the right words.
• During the anatomy section there is a whole paragraph on the vulva, hooray! Unfortunately, this is a direct quote “So, what can you do with a vulva? Well, first of all, don’t call it a vulva.” Nooo! We finally made it to calling female genitalia the right name, and now we are being advised to not use it? My heart dropped when I read this.
• On the note of things not being referred to right, poop is called chocolate.
• During the ‘preparation’ chapter it talks about how if your women has body hair and this is not your preference you should politely ask them to shave it. This is fair enough, but it also says “You may also find that some women have leg or arm hair. Again, not really a reason to freak out in the moment, but it may be a conversation that comes up later if you decide to continue having casual sex, or continue your relationship.” WHAT?! I get leg hair since our society has huge stigma over this, but arm hair?! As someone who has never shaved her arms I thought this was super unusual. I did a quick twitter poll and out of 16 votes 56% said they don’t either. So I guess some women do shave there, but I have no idea why this would effect sex or a relationship!!
• This book is filled with neat drawings and depictions by the uncredited artist, and the quality is pretty good considering how many there are. But as I continued throughout the book my heart slowly sank as I found every single image (there are is probably around 100 but I lost count) featured a white, skinny, big breasted, long haired women, or skinny, white male. The artist has clearly put effort into making each character unique by giving them different hairstyles, but yet each one happens to be just a slightly different shade of white. It is one thing to not be diverse with drawings like these, but the fact it would have been far easier for the artist to use different skin tones means they have clearly gone out of their way to ensure all of their characters are white. To me this is truly infuriating. Furthermore, male characters have body hair, and the artist even put effort into drawing the individual leg hairs on them, yet female characters have nothing, each one is clean shaven. This extreme lack of diversity in the drawings, something that would have been easier to include than not, completely ruined the art side of this book for me and was pretty uncomfortable to see page after page. Similarly, the anatomy photographs are all of white women, although thankfully there is one drawing which depicts different types of breasts that has a range of skin colours featured. Other than this there is a small section on how different cultures deal with their pubic hair.
• Finally, this book is not a very a good representation of women. There is a lot of generalisations. They are all very much the usual male generalisations of women and I felt I did not fit them at all. I could write a whole article on where the book failed here, but instead I’ll just leave you with a few quotes and I think they all pretty much speak for themselves:
  “Girls care about cumming every day. Hell, girls want to cum multiple times a day.”
  “They have to buy a bunch of skincare products and makeup and then spends hours a week applying it… they even go through the obvious hell of wearing high hells just so you can bask in the sexiness of their perfectly poised legs.”
  “This rockstar-pussy-eating ability will make women worship you”
  “This will definitely be a experience she’ll tell all her girlfriends about. And who knows, maybe they’ll get jealous and want you to show them your talents too.”

I think this review pretty much says it all. But if you are interested you can buy How To Eat Pussy Like A Rockstar for $26 AUD / $19 USD here. If you want my advice though, head over to Erika Moen’s always brilliant and diverse Oh Joy Sex Toy for her guide on How To Eat Pussy.

Last updated: 21/6/23

Price at the time of writing: $25 AUD / $19 USD

I received this product in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.