I’ve probably mentioned this once or twice over the years, but I am a huge Christmas person. My decorations go up on November 1st without fail, with practically every element in the house getting switched over to a festive version, from Christmas aprons and tea towels, to Christmas bath mats and pyjamas. I start menu planning months ahead of time and spend most of December in the kitchen, that is when I’m not attending Christmas markets, drinking eggnog or wrapping presents. But one of my absolute favourite parts of Christmas for as long as I can remember has always been the advent calendars. Over the years I’ve watched as they’ve evolved from basic chocolates to luxury varieties filled with things like bath bombs and wine, and I have been 100% here for all of it, regularly having three just to myself (this year’s themes being local craft beer, Back To The Future, and the annual DIY one from my mum, which is usually a mix of tea and candy). The one type of calendar I haven’t tried yet, however, which may be somewhat surprising considering my profession, is sex toys. So this year Christmas feels like it has come early, because Lovehoney have treated me to their very own 2021 “Best Sex Of Your Life” Couples Advent Calendar!
It’s been a massive long-term goal of mine to review an advent calendar, yet between how quickly they sell out and how frequently they contain non-body safe items, it has just never worked out. But when I first saw Lovehoney’s calendar collection this year I was immediately impressed. There are four options to choose from, including a 7 day version filled with lingerie (and available in two sizes) and two 12 day versions, one being for those with a penis and the other being for those with a vulva. The only full 24 day version, however, (and the one I’ll be reviewing today) is Lovehoney’s annual Couples Calendar, which they’ve this year dubbed the “Best Sex Of Your Life”. Containing a mix of items from sex toys and bondage gear to more couples-orientated pieces, this collection is primarily aimed at cis straight couples. Although the range of items contained within it is absolutely varied enough that couples of any gender or body type could enjoy it, including singles or people with multiple partners. Plus, like I mentioned before, material safety is always an issue when it comes to these type of collections, but every item in this calendar is either made with body-safe materials or can be used externally.
Sounding good? Well wait till you hear this next part. Being sold for just $225 AUD, the Lovehoney 2021 Couples Advent Calendar has an estimated value of over $660… AND the mystery product in Day 24 retails at $200 alone! Which means you could essentially say you’re just buying the calendar for Day 24 (and trust me, it’s the sort of product you would do that for), and then think of the other 23 items as only costing you $25! Of course, I won’t give any spoilers away right now regarding what’s inside (that’s later on in the review, although do be careful when browsing Lovehoney’s website as they don’t exactly hide it), but what I will tell you is that you are going to be having a lot of fun. Essentially the ultimate starter-pack for any sex toy beginner, you’ll end up on Christmas Eve with one of almost every type of toy, alongside a few bondage items and a variety of other treats as well. In this regard I don’t think there is any better way to begin a collection or to experiment with new things, and the price starts to seem ridiculously low when you look at it like that. For those with an established collection, however, this will be a little less interesting, but even I found products that I wasn’t familiar with. Plus, the ones I did have other copies of were still fun, because it gave me and my partner a chance to get reacquainted with them. The only things that the calendar does not include, which Lovehoney have options to buy alongside it, is lubricant (a must have) and one AA battery, which is required for one of the items.
As you can see, Lovehoney haven’t just put effort into the contents of this year’s box. The actual calendar itself is beautiful, and I can’t tell you how tempted I was to cancel this review and leave it up with my Christmas decorations instead (even though it’s mid October and my Halloween decorations are just out of the frame). Using red and gold as a colour scheme (which is continued throughout most of the toys), the front and inside are both very stylish and visually pleasing, and fit right in with my own traditional festive aesthetic. Using a mix of numbers and letters (as in, some days might read as “9”, whilst others use “Nine”) they’ve then created a really nice contrast, and while there is no indication here that the calendar contains NSFW items, the Lovehoney logo is quite present (which may be more familiar than other adult brands considering their TV ads). The back then gives you a little more information, including clues about what you might find inside and tips for safe play. Quite large, the box also has a good amount of depth to it, allowing it to stand upright without any concerns of falling over. Plus, whilst I might be imagining it, I do think it has magnets that allow it to stay shut when closed, which means if you plan on putting it away when you have house guests over, this is all too easy. Finally, upon opening the windows (which are perforated around the sides but not at the top, so that the flaps can be placed back down after opening) you’ll find a little bit of information on the back of the cardboard about each product.
There’s not much more I can say now without revealing what’s inside, so if you don’t want to know… stop here! Go grab one for yourself before it sells out like usual (just don’t read the product description and try to cover up any images) or get someone to buy it for you, and make sure to throw in a bottle of lube and some batteries! But for those who just can’t wait till Christmas, read on…
Inside The Box
I was so excited to open up the 2021 Lovehoney “Best Sex Of Your Life” Couples Advent Calendar that I recorded myself doing it, and you can watch the full video here to see my first impressions of all 24 items. Now I’ve had a little bit of time to properly test out and consider all of the products however, I have plenty of opinions as well as advice for how to get the most out of them.
Day 1: USB Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator
The humble bullet vibrator is the most versatile and beginner’s friendly of all the sex toys. So its inclusion in Day 1 could not have been more perfect. But this isn’t just any old bullet. In fact, it’s a USB rechargeable version offering seven pattern modes and three different speeds. Considering most bullets are battery-powered and only feature three speeds in total, this showed me right from the get-go that Lovehoney would be going the extra mile with this calendar. Plus, its shiny red coating is wonderfully festive, allowing it to stand out among the the pinks, blacks and silvers of the rest of my bullets. As for the USB cord, this is also included in the window, but it’s behind a bit of tissue paper so that it doesn’t take away from the immediate excitement of the item.
Day 2: Adjustable Cock Ring
My partner and I have been exploring the world of cock rings for around a year now, and they’ve come to be a terrific addition to our toy box. This version is quite simple and unlike anything else we own, essentially being a thin piece of silicone joined together with a black piece of plastic, rather than an actual “ring”. While we haven’t tried it yet, I like the idea, as it effectively makes the item one-size-fits-all, and I’m fairly sure there’s a number of other ways it could be adapted for couples who don’t have a penis, for instance it could be used to attach the bullet to your finger like with the Hot Octopuss DiGiT. Plus, the addition of the plastic makes loosening and tightening it easy, as you can simply press down the button on it to release the silicone. The only downside might be that if there is a lot of silicone left over, it might get in the way.
Day 3: Starry-Eyed Blindfold
Last year I received Lovehoney’s Starry Night Bondage Bundle as part of my 12 Days of Lovehoney Christmas celebrations, which was made up of three items that have been clearly updated for this calendar. Day 3’s blindfold is one of them, although it in no way makes it any less enjoyable. This year they’ve fully committed to the classic Christmas theme, not only making the items red rather than black, but also by using stars that are much more festive than before (this is debatable, but I do like how they’re less generic). They’ve also included the Lovehoney logo among the stars, which I only think works as part of the Advent Calendar. As for the mask itself, I have a few of these from Lovehoney now and have used them occasionally, both for sleep and sex, and think they’re wonderful. The double strap ensures there’ll be no peaking, although does mean it can be a little tight. Plus, while the front is satin, the inside is then luxuriously soft and furry, which is an upgrade from last year’s thicker velvet-like material.
Day 4: Dice
I feel like Days 1, 2 and 3 give you a few things to play with, and then Day 4 gives you the opportunity to really put them to use (if you haven’t already!). Sex dice are always a winner, because they give you a fun and approachable way to be intimate with your partner, and maybe even try some new things. Two dice are included with the Advent Calendar, with one being the action dice (Blow, Nibble, Kiss, Lick & Massage) and the other being the body part dice (Penis or Clitoris, Nipples, Inner Thigh, Neck & Butt). Both dice also then feature a “Roller’s Choice”, which I do feel is a bit of a downside as it breaks up the game a little by introducing the element of choice, and so when we get this we usually just reroll. Overall though I like these as they’re another basic yet essential item that works well for this early on. Plus, I feel like the other items would work perfectly with them, and I definitely encourage a combo of blindfold + bullet + body part dice (or maybe “Roller’s Choice” could even become “Bullet Vibrator”?).
Day 5: Slimline Butt Plug
Onto Day 5 and we’re introducing our first toy for anal play! While this may seem a little adventurous this early on in the calendar, I think it’s a great choice considering this is a type of play anyone can try. Plus, this is a wonderful starting option, with a small size and large taper for easy insertion. What’s more is that this has been made with silicone, which not only means it is body-safe, but also means it’s a lot more pricey too, for those who may have been feeling a little cheated with the last three items. Black is then my preferred colour for butt toys, being both gender neutral and dark enough to hide any mess, whilst a hole at the base is sized for Day 1’s bullet vibrator. This gives an instant upgrade to the plug, effectively turning it into a vibrator, while also being a great way to reuse products from past windows. Since the base is quite flimsy without the bullet inserted, however, I wouldn’t recommend using it without.
Day 6: Kegel Balls
If you were feeling impressed by the quality of the last item, get ready for Day 6! The first product specifically for those with a vagina, Lovehoney have gone above and beyond with these kegel balls. While there are many different ways to present this type of item, which is more wellness product than sex toy, this is one of the more elaborate methods, making this the closest to a luxury product that we’ve seen so far. Specially designed to help tone your pelvic floor and therefore increase pleasure, the two weighted balls (which each weigh 25 grams) can be used separately or together depending on your experience level, as they can be quickly removed from the harness. Plus, being able to remove them also allows for easy cleaning, as does the silicone coating on all elements.
Day 7: Beaded Stroker
The penis-owner in your relationship might be feeling a little left out after Day 6, but don’t worry, things are about to even out. For Day 7 we have a ribbed stroker that features a row of metal beads on both sides. While this is visually the least impressive product so far, essentially just being a grey tube, I do love that it is non-anatomical and non-gendered. Plus, by having the hole open out at the end, it can be cleaned fairly easily. Considering the last few days have been mostly solo-play products, I also think this comes at a great time, as while this could be used solo, it’s going to be a lot more fun when controlled by a partner. Finally, since this is likely made from TPE, it’s not something that’ll last forever like silicone, so make sure to keep an eye on it for any changes.
Day 8: Mini Paddle
At this point I think we’re ready for some more couples-orientated products, and that’s exactly what Day 8 provides. The longest of the windows, and no doubt one you’ve had your eye on, this doesn’t disappoint, with a mini paddle that knows how to pack a punch. Featuring a beautiful Christmas-themed design on one side and red leather (most likely faux) on the other, this feels very high quality and is complimented perfectly with a small tag featuring the Lovehoney logo and black ribbon wrist-strap. Matching the blindfold from Day 3, this is then very similar to the paddle I received for last year’s holiday Starry Night Bondage Bundle, but again I much prefer this. Being our first proper bondage toy for the calendar, this also provides a very approachable and beginner’s friendly starting point.
Day 9: Scented Candle
After some great items so far, Day 9 does feel like a bit of a stocking stuffer. After all, it’s just a small candle, and not even a massage one at that! Plus, what Christmas-themed scent does it have? Vanilla. Alright, so Lovehoney may have run out of ideas when it came to this one, but at least the festive tin it comes in is cute, and even though vanilla might not be the most interesting scent, it sure smells good and is probably going to be something everyone can enjoy. Plus, candles are great for setting the mood, and so this is surely going to be seeing a lot of use. Maybe it could become a goal to finish it before NYE and only put it on when you’re being intimate or using something from the calendar? Now that sounds like fun!
Day 10: Crystal Butt Plug
To celebrate the switch to double digits is another butt plug, but this one is quite different from the last! Here we have a crystal butt plug, which is sometimes referred to as a princess plug, and funnily enough the first thing I ever reviewed at the blog (and part of the reason why I called myself Princess Previews!). This one is even less intimidating than the last, being far smaller and easier to insert due to the smooth metal material, and to be honest I think the two would have been better off if their placements were switched. The red gem alongside a gold body is also perfectly themed for Christmas and the calendar’s colour scheme, whilst the metal gives you access to temperature play. Plus, for couples it now means you can wear your butt plugs together, as well as see which version you prefer.
Day 11: Mini G-Spot Vibrator
So far we’ve only had one vibrating toy in Day 1, so I think the mini G-Spot vibe hiding under Day 11’s window is wonderfully timed. This is also the one item in the calendar that requires a battery, and inserting this is easy with a simple twist control for either “Open”, “Off”, or “On”. The toy itself is then very small, and while I know it’s called “Mini” for a reason, it does make me question how well it’s going to be able to reach people’s G-Spots, even with the little curve at the end. The material is also ABS plastic, making it better suited for external clitoral play than internal. Plus, while it could be used by penis-owners, it is not anal-safe as it does not feature a base. Overall this is nice, but since it seems like it’s supposed to be a luxury G-Spot vibrator, which it is very much not, it may be a little disappointing to some.
Day 12: Male Stroker
We’ve gone 12 days without any gendered language, so opening up this stroker and seeing the name was a little disappointing. The actual item itself though is great, and while it is designed specifically for the penis, this is by no means its only use. A small white ball likely made of TPE, it features a lightning bolt pattern on the inside for stimulation when used on the penis (I’ve folded it inside-out for the photo so this is visible). Since this type of toy is generally one-use however, you must be gentle when using it and apply extra lubricant if you want it to last longer. As for alternative uses, this is perfect for adding texture to a wand massager if you have one, but again it won’t last forever, which is probably the biggest downside to Day 12.
Day 13: Wrist Restraints
We’re just over half way now and starting to get a few more filler items, such as Day 13’s Lovehoney branded wrist restraints. Black, 127cm / 50 inches long and made of satin, there’s not much I can say about these two. Smaller in width than the Lovehoney Oh! Silky Bondage Restraints I own, they’re also made of a shinier material, both of which I prefer, although they aren’t as high quality as what was included with the Big Oh! Board Game that I received last Christmas. A Lovehoney logo in red and gold then also features at one end, which helps to at least continue the festive theme. While probably the most initially underwhelming of all the items so far (asides from the candle, that is), there is certainly still a lot of fun to be had with these for those who embrace the idea. For instance, you can combo it with the blindfold and paddle, or even tie it around the bullet for hands-free solo play!
Day 14: Nipple Clamps
Day 14 brings us the smallest item of the calendar, so much so that there is even an extra window inside just to ensure they don’t just fall out and immediately get lost down the grate you’ve surely opened them over. These nipple clamps are again the same as the ones provided in Lovehoney’s Starry Night Bondage Bundle, with the main difference here being the red and gold colour scheme as opposed to black and silver, which again I think far better suits the theme. Additionally, the small decorative item has also been changed, this time being the Lovehoney logo rather than a star. If it wasn’t for the fact that this is Lovehoney’s annual Advent Calendar, which I think gives them the right to do some boasting, I’d say this was in bad taste, but at least the little butt / heart symbol looks adorable. The clamps themselves are also great quality whilst remaining relatively simple, with an easy latch allowing you to tighten and loosen the amount of pressure that is applied.
Day 15: Anal Beads
It’s Day 15 and we’ve finally got a toy again, this time in the form of anal beads! After two butt toys now you’re surely feeling a lot more familiar with anal play, and beads are the obvious next step. Plus, the design is very similar to that of the Slimline plug, using the same black silicone and also featuring a hole at the end for the bullet vibrator from Day 1. So for those who enjoyed either of the other plugs (but especially Day 5’s) I think this is going to be a perfect addition and a whole new way to experiment. Plus, far too often plugs are seen as the be-all-end-all for anal play, when beads are just as fun if not better, and so I’m glad to see their addition. Finally, while the description on the box suggests the loop be used for your finger when the bullet is not inserted, I would be careful with this and not insert it past the final bulb without the bullet.
Day 16: Mint Orgasm Balm
Day 16 probably looks to be the most boring item in the calendar at first, with the tiny tin seeming like an even smaller version of the candle. Opening it up and sniffing the minty-fresh balm probably doesn’t help either, nor will reading me write about it. But once you actually apply it to a sensitive area, such as your clitoris or nipples, you’ll understand why this is actually a very exciting item. Effectively working as an instant upgrade to whatever you’re doing, when applied the balm creates a cooling sensation that increases stimulation and pleasure, which is why it’s called an orgasm balm. You could combo with this with really any of the items you’ve received so far, but my pick would be the bullet, and if playing with a partner, I’d throw in some bondage with the blindfold and restraints too.
Day 17: Rabbit Cock Ring
For Day 17 we’re finally getting an upgrade to Day 2’s cock ring, and this one is a doozy. Similar to the butt plug and anal beads, this toy is also made out of black silicone and features a hole for the bullet, effectively making it a vibrator. This does mean it’s not as stretchy as some cock rings however, and certainly not adjustable like Day 2’s was, and so there is a chance it may not work for you. As for the rabbit component, this is very interesting and not something I’ve seen before. Not only does it increase solo pleasure, but during PIV sex it can completely transform the experience, with the bullet and rabbit ears being positioned so that they should perfectly meet up against your partner’s clitoris, allowing a hands-free orgasm for both of you. You can tell we’re approaching the end now, because this is a seriously great addition.
Day 18: Pom-Pom Tickler
I may have spoken too soon with Day 17, because Day 18 is…. a furry clown nose with some Velcro stuck to it? Okay, well the official name is Pom-Pom Tickler, and while it does look slightly hilarious and is clearly very cheap, I still think this is a fun item. Ticklers are great for adding stimulation to play, especially when paired with sensory deprivation items, such as blindfolds and restraints (which you happen to have!). Usually they’re attached to the end of a stick however, which is why this looks so odd, but I actually really like this idea. The Velcro straps allow you to easily attach it to practically anything you want, and placing it so it rests on the palm of my hand or alternatively two fingers is ideal, allowing me to run my hand over my partner’s body only for them to feel a tantalising sensation instead. You could also put it on something like the paddle, if you do want to have more of a handle.
Day 19: Vanilla Massage Oil
Hopefully you haven’t had enough of the smell of vanilla yet after that challenge I set you on Day 9, because Day 19 is a vanilla-scented massage oil! This is another simple product, but at this point in the calendar we’ve tried a lot of different items, and considering it’s only six days before Christmas I think we all deserve a bit of relaxation. So settling in for a sensual night of massages rather than sex is sounding pretty good when you look at it like that. Plus, this smells absolutely wonderful and feels amazing. The only downside is that there has been a bit of a printing issue with the label on it, as while the top is cut off early so you cannot fully read the instructions, the bottom features printer marks.
Day 20: G-Spot Dildo
We’re finally onto the final five days, and we’re starting off with a classic. Behind Day 20’s window is a G-Spot dildo that uses the same silky black silicone as some of the other toys, alongside a hole in its base to allow for the Day 1 bullet to be inserted, turning it into a vibrator. But while I love the idea of this, I do feel Lovehoney have missed the mark in a few areas. Firstly, like the G-Spot Vibrator, “Mini” should also be in the name of this, because it is very small. Obviously space is limited in an advent calendar, but I do feel that if they had room for a paddle, they could have found it for a normal sized insertable toy. Plus, the G-Spot curve is barely noticeable, and this combined with the length means that there’s a good chance it won’t work for everyone. The biggest problem though, is that the flared base is extremely thin, so much so that I do not feel this would be anal safe. This is not only a disappointment for anyone without a vagina who now cannot use it, but it also means that those who have been exploring anal play during the calendar are unable to progress to what would have been an obvious next step, and all because the base wasn’t another centimetre or so longer.
Day 21: Body Massager
Asides from this year’s hero product in Day 24, Day 21 is the calendar’s biggest window, and so I was pretty excited to open this one. I definitely wasn’t expecting the strange starfish-shaped item I found behind it though, which is actually a body massager. However, it has quickly become one of my favourite items here, mostly because it is just unlike anything else I own. Made with a firm resin-like red plastic filled with glittery sparkles, this little device feels seriously good when applied to my back solo, and when my partner takes control of it… oh my. This is then made even better when combined with the massage oil from Day 19 and scented candle from Day 9. I don’t know about you, but this is exactly what I need four days before Christmas.
Day 22: Stretchy Penis Sleeve
We’ve had ups and downs throughout this calendar, but overall everything has been pretty good and every item I would be happy for myself and my partner to use. But then we come to Day 22. This is a penis sleeve, which is an item I don’t have any prior experience with, but from what I can tell it’s designed to sit over the penis, so that during penetrative sex it adds extra stimulation, similar to a ribbed condom. I like the idea, but the problem here is that the material it is made with is clearly not body-safe. While it could be TPE, the transparency suggests jelly, which could not only cause chemical burns (something that has happened to me, and the reason I started this blog) but various other health problems if inserted into the body. Due to this I cannot recommend it be used as intended, but it can still be applied externally for added stimulation, perhaps over the top of the G-Spot Vibrator, for a short time until you dispose of it to avoid further issues.
Day 23: Sex Position Cards
When I first pulled out a pack of playing cards on the second last day of the calendar, I gotta admit I felt a little annoyed. Plus, it seemed like something that would have gone better at the start, so you could have played with them throughout the month. But that was until I started having a proper look at them. Similar to the Position of the Week Book from Lovehoney that I tried last Christmas, these playing cards each feature a sex position on them that range from easy, medium and difficult. The best bit though (and reason it couldn’t come before now) is that every one of the 26 cards has suggestions on which toys from the calendar you should pair with it. So if you’re starting to feel a little tired after such a busy month, or perhaps overwhelmed by the amount of products suddenly at your disposal, these are the perfect way to re-inspire yourself. Plus, I actually prefer the randomised element of these over the book.
Day 24: Womanizer Classic
It’s finally Christmas Eve, which means it’s Day 24 and time for Lovehoney’s $200 hero product! This is actually the only non-Lovehoney product in the calendar, and who else would they choose for their pièce de résistance than my absolute favourite sex toy manufacturer, Womanizer! Known for their mind-blowing suction products, which they were the OG creators of, Lovehoney have chosen to include their massively popular Classic at Day 24. While it’s not a model I’ve tried, it is very similar to my favourite suction toy of all time, the Womanizer Premium, and so it’s one I’ve been meaning to buy for awhile now. I’ll be giving this a full review at the blog soon, but if I know Womanizer this is going to blow your Christmas-themed socks right off, and is the perfect way to finish off this calendar (for those with vulvas, at least). While the charging cord and instruction manuals are also included in the window, these are simplified presumably for the sake of space, and sadly the storage pouch and extra nozzle that would normally be included are missing. An upside however, is that the bright pink body and white nozzle of the toy appear to be unique, as I haven’t been able to find an example of the toy ever being made in this colour scheme before, meaning this is a potentially limited edition version of Womanizer Classic made especially for the Lovehoney Advent Calendar, nice!
Final Thoughts
Overall I am extremely pleased with the 2021 Lovehoney Couples Advent Calendar. While there were some clear filler items alongside actual products, I felt there was a good balance between the two and that they were well paced out. Plus, there were plenty of high-quality items that I would pay good money for on Lovehoney’s website, so the value in here is really quite crazy when you consider how little it all costs.
Of the 24 items, only five were specifically for a penis (Adjustable Cock Ring, Beaded Stroker, Male Stroker, Rabbit Cock Ring and Stretchy Penis Sleeve), with two of them being intended for PIV sex and almost all having the ability to be adapted for alternative uses, while only three were specifically for those with a vulva (Kegel Balls, G-Spot Dildo and Womanizer Classic). So even for those in relationships where you don’t have one of these body parts, you won’t be at much of a loss. Perhaps the biggest downside in this regard is the Womanizer Classic being the hero product, as while I love it personally, if you don’t have a clitoris then this may be a big disappointment considering it’s the final item. Perhaps this is why Lovehoney included more penis-specific toys, in a effort to help balance this out.
As for favourites, the USB Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator, Kegel Balls, Crystal Butt Plug, Body Massager and Womanizer Classic were definite stand-outs for me, as were most of the silicone bullet-compatible items. Disappointments had to be the Mini G-Spot Vibrator and G-Spot Dildo, mostly because of how small they both were, whilst the worst offender was obviously the Stretchy Penis Sleeve, which gives me the heebie-jeebies just looking at it. The only thing I felt that was missing from the calendar was lube, but considering Lovehoney make it clear on their website that you’ll need to buy this as an addition, it’s not so bad (plus you’ll probably be using more than they could have fit anyway), and their Delight Lubricant is my personal recommendation.
To summarise though, I have been overwhelmingly impressed with the Lovehoney Advent Calendar, and while there were a few things that could be improved upon, it would still make an absolutely excellent addition to anyone’s Christmas, particularly those who are looking to try sex toys but are unsure where to start. Plus, even if Christmas and advent calendars aren’t really your thing, I think you’ll be hard pressed to find a beginner’s kit at better value than this. So head on over to Lovehoney now to grab one for yourself, because these won’t last much longer!
Sadly, the 2021 Lovehoney Couples Advent Calendar has now been discontinued.
I received this product in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.