Floral

Review: Funzze Flower Tongue

Funzze Flower Tongue

It was a little over a year ago that I had the pleasure of reviewing the viral Rose Vibe. I had no idea what to expect from a toy TikTok had dubbed the “soul snatcher”, but it didn’t take me long to realise that this was no exaggeration. Since then, this white-label toy and its two siblings, which are now most commonly known as The Rose, The Bloom and The Kiss after US distributor NS Novelties acquired them for their INYA brand, have continued to gain popularity as their availability has soared. So, considering my love for “The Rose”, with it even coming in at Number 5 on my Top 10 of Sex Toys of 2021, it seemed only right that I review another one of these toys, and thanks to retailer Funzze that’s exactly what I’m doing today with The Kiss, or as they like to call it, the Flower Tongue.

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Review: Sohimi Rose Queen

Sohimi Rose Queen

Last night I finally watched Free Guy, and I can’t help but think back to Taika Waititi as the CEO of a video game company saying “Make an original? Why would I do that when I can make a sequel?, when writing this review. Sequel culture is everywhere these days, with films, television, video games, and just about every other form of entertainment choosing to stick with what their customers already know and love rather than risking doing something remotely new or inventive. So, when a brand manages to create one of the most popular sex toys in years, so much so that it goes absolutely viral on social media, it was only a matter of time before the sequel arrived. Introducing the Rose Queen, the next evolution of Sohimi’s massively popular ROSE suction toy. Also known as the Rose Toy Pro, this version keeps everything that was great about the original, while adding an insertable arm and vibrations for G-Spot stimulation. Plus, with a design that reinforces, rather than takes away from, its predecessor’s floral charm, this is one sequel I can get behind.

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Review: Sohimi ROSE

Sohimi ROSE Standing

Over the last few months a new viral sensation has been making waves in all corners of the internet. No, I’m not talking about that SHEIN cross wrap tank or anything Lil Nas X puts out, but a sex toy. Somehow, despite all the odds (and the protests of our social media overlords), a small unassuming clitoral stimulator has managed to capture the hearts of users on TikTok, Instagram, and even Facebook! That toy is the ROSE, a product that no doubt originally gained its popularity through its impressive floral design, but has kept it due to its apparently amazing suction powers. Interestingly though, unlike other viral toys, such as the Fantasy For Her or the Geeky Sex Toys Down Under Donation Dildo, this one isn’t made by one retailer, but is rather a white-label product, meaning it is a design that can be ordered wholesale and rebranded by any company. As you’d imagine, this has meant that as the weeks have gone by and the demand has grown, the amount of brands claiming the ROSE as their own has grown exponentially… and so has the price tag. Today, however, I’ll be looking at Sohimi’s version, which is one of the cheaper options available, to see if there really is anything behind all this fuss.

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Review: Faux Phallus Agapanthus

Faux Phallus Agapanthus

I love being a sex toy reviewer more than anything. But there are some obvious downsides to doing it in Australia. There’s no major manufacturers located here, popular toys aren’t always stocked by local stores, shipping prices from everywhere else are ridiculously high, and in terms of a blogging community… well most of the time it’s just me. There is one thing, however, that has disappointed me most over the years though, and that’s the lack of independent makers. Overseas, but particularly in the USA, there seems to be an abundance of people creating silicone toys from their very own homes and selling them places like Etsy, allowing them to push the limits of what is considered a sex toy by producing imaginative designs in a kaleidoscope of colours that would have never been able to occur within a larger mass-producing company. I could browse these stores all day, and often do, but with shipping typically costing far more than the products themselves, actually making a purchase is sadly not an option for me. It’s because of this that I have spent a good part of the last six years wishing and hoping someone would kick off a similar community here (and making my own plans if I were to ever move to a bigger apartment), and now in 2021 it finally seems my cries have been answered.

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