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Review: Funzze Glass Tentacle

Funzze Glass Tentacle

I love browsing the new arrivals section at Funzze to see all the latest sex toys they’re offering. Not only are they surprisingly high-quality and enjoyable products for a white-label retailer (so much so that they dominated last year’s Top 10 Sex Toys), but they are also some of the cheapest on the market. So when I recently saw they had launched a new range of glass toys, my first impression was one of excitement, especially when I noticed their Glass Tentacle dildo, a style I have been wanting to review for a long time. But… after this initial reaction, I hesitated. Even though I regularly talk about glass sex toys and how safe they are, I have actually only reviewed a few, and that was some time ago. Funzze’s options, to make matters even more uncertain, are made of borosilicate glass, yet are not annealed. I ended up doing a lot of research, and you can probably guess the outcome…

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Review: Funzze Mini Realistic Dildo

Funzze Mini Realistic Dildo

Recently I’ve been spending a lot of time at r/SexToys helping to answer people’s questions (say hi if you see me!), and I’ve realised most posts fall into one of two categories. There are the beginners who have no idea where to start or what would work best for them, and then there is the exact opposite: people who know exactly what they want and just need help finding it. It’s made me more aware of just how versatile our desires can be, with many of these requests being for toys outside of the norm (hence why they’re struggling to locate them), particularly when it comes to sizing. I’m so accustomed to the average 18cm / 7″ length and 3.8cm / 1.5″ diameter of penetrables that I barely even stop to think about it, yet it seems there are plenty of people out there yearning for something different, from toys that are long and thin, short and thick, and every possible combination in between. So, when Funzze approached me about collaborating with them, I was instantly intrigued when I saw the Mini Realistic Dildo in their new arrivals.

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Review: Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo

Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo

Recently I’ve been getting more into make-up and skincare, partly due to TikTok. I love watching people’s routines, although many of the products these influencers use are far too costly for me to even consider buying. That was when the algorithm started recommending me “dupes”, which is a shortened version of the word duplicate and young people slang for a product that is very similar to a popular competitor, yet cheaper. For the first time, make-up felt accessible to me, and these dupes have been the perfect entry-point for someone who is still learning what they like and who is not yet ready to commit to a luxury purchase. Anyway, the reason why I am telling you this story, is because when I saw today’s review item, I immediately felt like I was one of those TikTok beauty influencers, like I had the chance to help someone just starting out on their sex toy journey, just like they helped me. Because at $108 AUD / $70 USD, the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo is the closest dupe of the legendary Njoy Pure Wand I’ve ever seen, and at less than half the price!

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Review: Le Wand Hoop

Le Wand Hoop

For almost 20 years, the Njoy Pure Wand has been the go-to stainless steel sex toy, unrivaled in its design and pleasure abilities. So it’s almost impressive, that in an industry where copycat designs run rampant, that the Pure Wand has managed to remain a one-of-a-kind through sheer reputation alone. That is, until now, with the release of the Le Wand Hoop. An almost carbon-copy of the Pure Wand, this kind of move certainly isn’t new ground for the US-based manufacturer, whose entire catalogue is based on reimagining popular designs from other companies. However, as with their take on the legendary Magic Wand Rechargeable, my problem with Le Wand stems from the fact that rather than offering these imitations at a lower price point, they instead ask for even more money. Which begs the question: why would anyone pay more for a knock-off Pure Wand?

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Review: Love to Love Dildolls Utopia

Love to Love Dildolls Utopia

An unexpected positive to how much time we’ve all collectively spent inside over the last few years, has to be the rise of the independent sex toy maker. But as these silicone artisans continue to elevate what we previously thought was possible, with dildos and other non-electrical toys available for the first time in a huge range of shapes, styles, and colours, it’s starting to make the bigger brands realise that we aren’t going to be satisfied with just flesh tones and pinks and purples any longer. Rather, we want the same level of choice and innovation when it comes to dildos as with vibrators and suction toys. So, when I first saw the Dildolls range by French manufacturer Love to Love, I knew they got it, and it’s been no surprise to me that these eye-catching toys have since become such a sensation.

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Review: Faux Phallus Agapanthus

Faux Phallus Agapanthus

I love being a sex toy reviewer more than anything. But there are some obvious downsides to doing it in Australia. There’s no major manufacturers located here, popular toys aren’t always stocked by local stores, shipping prices from everywhere else are ridiculously high, and in terms of a blogging community… well most of the time it’s just me. There is one thing, however, that has disappointed me most over the years though, and that’s the lack of independent makers. Overseas, but particularly in the USA, there seems to be an abundance of people creating silicone toys from their very own homes and selling them places like Etsy, allowing them to push the limits of what is considered a sex toy by producing imaginative designs in a kaleidoscope of colours that would have never been able to occur within a larger mass-producing company. I could browse these stores all day, and often do, but with shipping typically costing far more than the products themselves, actually making a purchase is sadly not an option for me. It’s because of this that I have spent a good part of the last six years wishing and hoping someone would kick off a similar community here (and making my own plans if I were to ever move to a bigger apartment), and now in 2021 it finally seems my cries have been answered.

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