Edging. I’ve spoken about it so many times over the years, and even have it down as one of the aspects I assess sex toys on when I review them. It’s something I feel many people do naturally, like an instinct, and a method of pleasure I’ve shared with all of my sexual partners. But in speaking to new people recently, I’ve started to realise that not everyone knows what it is and how to do it. So, whether the term is unfamiliar or the technique itself has your mind boggled, I thought it was about time I formally introduced the topic and explained exactly what this edging thing is all about in my latest guide that I’m calling Edging 101!
What Is Edging?
Edging is a method of intentionally delaying orgasm.
Practised by people of all sorts, including individuals, couples and groups, edging refers to the idea of getting right to the edge of orgasm, and then stopping.
This may just be for a few seconds, a few minutes, or longer, and may be repeated as many times as you wish. For instance, a common stop-start method involves a break of around 30 seconds that is repeated multiple times before climax is finally achieved.
Why You Should Be Doing It
Whilst I have a feeling this is something humans have been doing for a long time, edging first started gaining attention when a 1956 paper published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine introduced it as a treatment for premature ejaculation. Since then, its praise for this and numerous other benefits has continued, including:
Extended duration of play
This one is kind of a given, considering if you choose to repeatedly stop yourself from orgasming, it is always going to take longer than if you had just climaxed initially. But just because it’s obvious doesn’t mean it can’t be overstated, particularly when it comes to play with a partner. Being able to make the moment last longer is something many people chase, and this is an easy way to achieve that and keep the fun going.
Increased pleasure
Many people who practise edging report that it enhances or amplifies the overall stimulation felt during masturbation or sex, ultimately resulting in stronger or long-lasting orgasms. This is definitely the biggest reason I love it, as it feels like the greater the build-up, the greater sensation when release finally comes.
Better bodily awareness
Edging is just another way for you to learn about your body, and with that comes the chance to better control it. This is particularly helpful if you either struggle with orgasming too early, too late or not at all. By practising edging, you’ll get used to reaching climax on your own terms, whilst also giving yourself more time to learn about which sensations you respond to best, rather than just rushing to the finish line. This will translate into getting to know your body better, and will also give you the tools to communicate this to a partner or medical expert if the need arises.
Refocus on pleasure
Too often achieving orgasm is thought of as the only goal to sex or masturbation. Instead, it should be about making yourself feel good, or, if with other people, about connecting to them and making them feel good. Edging helps to remove orgasm as a priority, reshifting your focus to being in the moment and removing any unnecessary pressure that comes from this mindset. Of course, your session may still end with orgasm, but it’s no longer the centre of attention.
How To Edge
There are a few different methods to edging, and these may differ between what people are hoping to achieve and what body parts you have. For instance, those with a penis may choose to squeeze the head right before orgasm in order to forcibly stop themselves. Presented below, however, is the most basic method, which you’ll be able to adopt to most circumstances:
- Start by setting the mood. Dim the lights, put on some music, light candles, or do whatever else you usually do before play. Edging can be performed anywhere you usually masturbate or have sex, so if you’d rather be in the shower or bath, that’s fine too.
- Get aroused. If a partner is with you, you might start by kissing or touching each other’s bodies. If alone, perhaps you could watch porn or read a smutty novel.
- Initiate play by starting to stimulate yourself or your partner. This might look like oral or penetrative sex if with other people, or simply touching your penis or clitoris if alone. There are so many different ways to experience pleasure, so if you’d rather do something different to what’s listed here, that’s fine too. Also, keep in mind that if edging with a partner, talk to them about it first to make sure they consent, and remember that consent can be revoked at any time.
- Once you feel yourself approaching orgasm, slow down or stop. This may be when you first start feeling the sensation, when you are right at the edge, or at any stage in between.
- Wait before continuing full stimulation. You don’t want to lose arousal or interrupt play, especially if with a partner. Just move onto focusing on a different area, or swap the attention from one partner to another (for instance, if you were providing oral, let them give you oral instead). Your break can take however long you want, and once ready you can either jump right back where you left off (best for longer breaks) or begin to slowly build up the sensation once more (best for short breaks).
- Repeat steps 4 and 5. You can do this as many times as you wish, and once you’re ready to finally climax your body will let you know.
- Let it out! All that orgasmic energy that you’ve built up will be ready to burst, resulting in an extremely satisfying climax.
- Keep going? Multiple orgasms are another beloved method of play, and even if you don’t plan on having another, pleasure and intimacy can continue. But, depending on how long you edged for, you’re also likely tired, and ready for a well deserved rest!
Edging With Sex Toys
There’s one aspect to edging I didn’t mention in the above instructions, and that is sex toys. My personal area of speciality, sex toys are a fantastic aid to this and all kinds of play. Whilst there are some toys, like the Flow by OSUGA, that are designed specifically with edging in mind, most are not. But here is my advice on what to look out for when choosing a sex toy to edge with, and remember that this is something I also discuss within my individual reviews.
External > internal toys
It’s always going to be easier to edge with external toys, which you can quickly and easily take off of your body, than internal toys that have penetrated you. The first problem is that they will be covered in your bodily fluids, making a mess, and placing them down may then mean they’ll need to be cleaned again before they can be safely re-inserted. You could just leave them in, but typically this won’t work with vaginal toys, as they have a tendency to fall out.
Shutdown delays
When edging with a sex toy, the main thing I usually do is toggle the power. This is all well and good on a toy that turns off instantly. But what if there is a delay? A few seconds may not seem like much at first, but if you’re edging frequently enough, it can make a huge impact. Unfortunately, the only way to really know this is to buy the toy (unless you’re lucky enough to live close enough to a physical retailer with display samples), but thankfully it is something I also cover in my reviews.
Controls and modes
An alternative to turning off the power may be to reduce the toy back to its lowest speed, but sadly “reduce speed” / “minus” buttons are typically reserved for premium products only. This is something you will be able to check before buying though, and if there is none, the next thing to consider is how many modes it has and how these are controlled. The more modes controlled via a single button means the more times you’ll need to click it to get back to the start. Most sex toys have PDF manuals viewable on the manufacturer’s website these days, so you’ll be able to check this before purchase.
Memory functions
Lastly, I would recommend avoiding the term “memory function” when it comes to selecting an edging friendly sex toy. What this means is that the toy will remember the last function used when turned off, so that it starts back there when turned on again. You won’t be able to toggle the power to get the toy back to its lowest speed, thereby forcing you to click through with the buttons.
Recommendations
Based on all that, my ideal edging toy would stimulate you externally, turn on and off instantly, and always start at the lowest intensity.
As a clitoris-owner, wand massagers, clitoral vibrators and air pressure wave toys (or clit suckers) are my recommended categories for edging. My favourites change often, which I talk about in my reviews, but right now my personal top picks for edging are:
- Wand massager: The Hitachi Magic Wand Rechargeable has been my favourite sex toy for almost ten years, and is the ultimate edging companion. Need a cheaper option? There is now an entire line of Magic Wands, so you can choose one based on your budget.
- Clitoral vibrator: Continuing to reign supreme at a small-scale, the We-Vibe Touch X and Tango X are now even more edging-friendly with their decrease intensity buttons.
- Air pressure wave: For me, it’s hard to beat the Womanizer Premium 2 and its comprehensive controls. If this is out of your budget though, the Satisfyer Pro 2 remains an icon for a reason.
Got questions or have a request for my next guide? Let me know and I’ll get back to you.
Further reading:
- Beginner’s Guide To Sex Toys
- Beginner’s Guide To Butt Plugs
- Beginner’s Guide To Sex Dolls
- Sex Toy Materials Guide
- Guide To Realistic Sex Toys
This post was sponsored by OSUGA but as always, all opinions are my own.