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Review: Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo

Funzze 9″ Fantasy Dildo

I’ve loved watching the rise of the independent fantasy maker over the last few years, but one downside to the trend is the high costs associated with these products. Now, I don’t mean to imply that these toys aren’t worth their prices, of course they are. The amount of time and effort that goes into creating unique designs and then hand-crafting them to ensure maximum appeal, pleasure and safety is huge, and that’s without even considering the cost of silicone, equipment, and all of the other fees and skill sets required to run any small business. Yet I am also aware that it has created a divide between those who can and those who cannot afford them, therefore making anyone looking for a cheaper option more susceptible to instead accepting, either knowingly or unknowingly, a toy made of unsafe materials as an alternative. So, when I saw Funzze had their own version of a fantasy dildo, and for less than $40 USD, I knew it was something I had to investigate further.

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Review: Odyssey Toys Coffin Grinder

Odyssey Toys Coffin Grinder

When Odyssey Toys, sister company to one of my favourite indie makers, recently reached out about reviewing their Kraken Grinder, I was so excited. But what was even more exciting was when the package arrived… a very large package that definitely didn’t contain just one item. I opened it a few days before Christmas, and it really did feel like I was getting all my gifts early, as they totally spoiled me with a mix of their own fantasy creations and Godemiche’s newest grinder range. And whilst I tried my best to focus on the Kraken Grinder, anyone who watched the unboxing at my Instagram knows that I immediately fell in love with the Coffin Grinder instead. Functionally, I knew that the Kraken Grinder was probably the better choice for me due to its penetrable nature, yet I just couldn’t shake the way I felt about its even more elaborate twin. So, when Odyssey Toys suggested a follow-up review, I jumped at the chance to finally showcase the Coffin Grinder in all its glory!

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Review: Velvet Thruster Prime

Velvet Thruster Prime with Sammie, Walter, Edward, Nanci, Frankie and Jackie heads

2023 is the year of the thruster. I, perhaps prematurely, called it back in June after reviewing just three, yet since then I’ve gone on to double that number, turning a style of product I rarely review into one of my most talked about toys of the year. So today’s post feels almost like a culmination of this trend, because at long last I’m bringing you my review of the Velvet Thruster Prime. One of my most requested sex toys this year, I first started teasing this collaboration with Velvet Brands back in May, and figured I couldn’t let the year end without finally sharing my thoughts on one of the most elaborate thrusters, if not sex toys in general, that I’ve ever received. Because I’m not just reviewing one version of the modular Prime today, but all six of its insertable heads, as well as two of the optional accessories.

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Review: YoYoLemon Licking Vibrator

YoYoLemon Licking Vibrator

Acoustic masturbation isn’t something I get up to much these days considering my job as a sex toy tester. But it’s where I, like many others, had my start with pleasure. I’ve always opted for non-penetrative play, ruining many pillows and bedsheets during my youth, which is why external toys like wand massagers and suction toys continue to be my favourites today. And it seems I’m not alone, with the majority of people with a clitoris choosing to focus on this too. Yet this isn’t something I was aware of growing up, and even though I had a much more comprehensive sexual education than most, I was under the belief that fingering was the correct way to masturbate (apparently this was taught during a class I missed, alongside a video demonstration on it, although I now wonder if my friends were just joking). I hated the idea and avoided it despite my concerns that I was doing something wrong, and even now the only things to enter my vagina are toys, my menstrual cup, and my partner. But for today’s review I’m hoping to challenge my thoughts on this common style of masturbation, with the YoYoLemon Licking Vibrator!

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Review: Wands of Lust Co Hercules

Wands of Lust Co Hercules

The world of crystals and harnessing their energy for healing and meditation is a truly fascinating one. I’ve tried a few sex toys now that make use of this unique material, and learning about their different properties and how they can bring positive change to your life is just as mesmerising as actually using them. But alas, despite my interest and efforts, I don’t know how much I find myself truly understanding these things beyond reading about them. Instead, I mostly just think crystals look pretty, and that’s okay too. So when Wands of Lust Co recently approached me about sending another of their products, I knew I wanted to go in a totally different direction visually than my previous review on their Aphrodite. And what’s more different from the translucent pink of rose quartz, than the endless black of pure obsidian?

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Review: Funzze Massager

Funzze Massager

Prices are going up, and as the cost of living crisis continues, standard groceries, household bills and luxuries like beauty goods are costing more than ever. Perhaps it’s not the same in every corner of the globe (I hope), but in Australia it is exhausting. Thankfully, however, this has not seemed to affect sex toys. In fact, they are becoming increasingly affordable, with dildos being made out of body-safe silicone no longer coming at a premium and even the relatively new air pressure wave trend setting you back only $60 AUD / $40 USD if you go with the bestselling Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation. Really the only product this price-drop has not seemed to affect is the wand massager, which is a real shame, because it’s also the one style of toy that I believe everyone should own a copy of. Sure, there’s been improvements, for instance my beloved Magic Wand Rechargeable, which was previously only available for $195 AUD / $130 USD, now has the cheaper Magic Wand Mini for $80 AUD / $55 USD less. But even this can be a lot to pay. So, over the past few months I’ve been on a hunt for budget wands to recommend, and the Funzze Massager is the cheapest I’ve come across so far.

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