Earlier this year I took a risk covering a new type of sex toy that could have easily just turned out to be a quick fad. But it paid off in spades, with my Grinder Round-Up not only being my most popular post of the year, but one of the most viewed posts on my blog of all-time, cementing the unique style’s place as the toy of 2022. Since then, the interpretations of what a grinder can be have only continued, and I’ve received multiple offers and requests to review more of them. I was more than happy to oblige, of course, and so you can expect to see a lot more of these rideable and lay-on toys at the blog soon. To kick that off, we have UK small business Godemiche’s version, which just so happens to be one of the first grinders I became aware of, and one that I originally intended to include in the Round-Up. But it looks like it all worked out for the best, because not only have Godemiche sent me two of their Grind Ring, but they’ve thrown in its V-Plate attachment as well!
Review: Godemiche Morpheus
We’re spoilt for choice these days when it comes to dildos. With new independent makers popping up around the globe every month, it often seems like there is now infinite variations of this classic sex toy. So whether you’re looking for a particular set of colours or a unique design, there’s a good chance you’ll find something out there to fulfil your fantasy (and if not, that’s what customs are for!). To celebrate that, today I wanted to take a look back at one of the OG micro-makers that started it all, and the first one that I ever purchased from all the way back in 2016. With their small range of tried-and-true products, UK brand Godemiche are well known for producing some of the most beautiful toys in the industry, with their masterful use of colour. So when they recently reached out to see if I was interested in reviewing a custom copy of their brand new dildo, Morpheus, how could I resist?
Review Round-Up: Grinders
Like many people, grinding was my entry point into the world of masturbation. Whether it meant rubbing at my vulva by hand or going on top of my pillows at night, I was doing it long before I even knew what a vibrator was. But now, after seven years of testing hundreds of sex toys, it’s not often I find myself resorting to this kind of “acoustic” play anymore. After all, I have all kinds of gadgets that can achieve the same thing for far less effort, and thus grinding had become but a distant memory. So, you can imagine my surprise when in 2021 a new toy trend seemingly emerged out of nowhere: grinders. From indie makers releasing a wave of textured non-insertables, to retailers relabelling old favourites like the We-Vibe Touch and Tenga Iroha+ Kushi as grindable toys, clearly something was going on, and I wanted in. Which is why I sought out six of the best for today’s very special grinder review round-up!
Review: Closetplay Speedster
In October 2021 the sex toy world suffered a huge loss. Geeky Sex Toys, Australia’s first (and, for a long time, only) independent maker of silicone toys, closed their virtual doors. Pioneers of the fantasy genre, they introduced the idea of mixing pop culture with sex toys for all us “naughty nerds” out there, and as it turned out, there were a lot of us. But while they might have been the first to bring us the lightsaber dildo and Pikachu butt plug, they certainly won’t be the last. Many retailers, from other indie makers such as Deep N’ Geek to big brands like The Realm by Blush Novelties, have taken inspiration from Geeky Sex Toys over the years. However, I don’t think any have quite captured their almost chaotic creativity quite like newcomer Closetplay Sex Toys.
Review: Darque Path Cthulhu
Over the last few years I’ve become a massive fan of the work of H.P. Lovecraft and the Mythos he inspired. Growing up with little exposure to horror films or books (even the The Little Mermaid gave me nightmares as a child), his wide collection of short stories has served as the perfect gateway into this world for me, especially when you consider how much of it has formed the basis of the genre today. I often spend evenings reading over annotations of his work (yes, including analysis on the unpleasant racist overtones), have forked out way too much money on the Call of Cthulhu role-playing game (considering I have no one to play it with), and even though I still have a long way to go with catching up on horror as a film genre, I’ve just recently taken my first steps with John Carpenter’s Apocalypse Trilogy (which was also inspired by Lovecraft). But with my job being what it is, there has always been one thing missing, and that is, of course, a fantasy toy inspired by the most famous of all his creations: Cthulhu. For the longest time I had my eyes on Uberrime’s version, but size concerns and US shipping prices held me back, until finally it disappeared from their store. Just when I thought all was lost however, I discovered Darque Path and their very own interpretation made right here in Australia!
Review: Faux Phallus Agapanthus
I love being a sex toy reviewer more than anything. But there are some obvious downsides to doing it in Australia. There’s no major manufacturers located here, popular toys aren’t always stocked by local stores, shipping prices from everywhere else are ridiculously high, and in terms of a blogging community… well most of the time it’s just me. There is one thing, however, that has disappointed me most over the years though, and that’s the lack of independent makers. Overseas, but particularly in the USA, there seems to be an abundance of people creating silicone toys from their very own homes and selling them places like Etsy, allowing them to push the limits of what is considered a sex toy by producing imaginative designs in a kaleidoscope of colours that would have never been able to occur within a larger mass-producing company. I could browse these stores all day, and often do, but with shipping typically costing far more than the products themselves, actually making a purchase is sadly not an option for me. It’s because of this that I have spent a good part of the last six years wishing and hoping someone would kick off a similar community here (and making my own plans if I were to ever move to a bigger apartment), and now in 2021 it finally seems my cries have been answered.