I love browsing the new arrivals section at Funzze to see all the latest sex toys they’re offering. Not only are they surprisingly high-quality and enjoyable products for a white-label retailer (so much so that they dominated last year’s Top 10 Sex Toys), but they are also some of the cheapest on the market. So when I recently saw they had launched a new range of glass toys, my first impression was one of excitement, especially when I noticed their Glass Tentacle dildo, a style I have been wanting to review for a long time. But… after this initial reaction, I hesitated. Even though I regularly talk about glass sex toys and how safe they are, I have actually only reviewed a few, and that was some time ago. Funzze’s options, to make matters even more uncertain, are made of borosilicate glass, yet are not annealed. I ended up doing a lot of research, and you can probably guess the outcome…
Review: Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder IV
If there’s one sex toy that has been at the top of my mind recently, despite reviewing it well over a year ago, it’s the Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II. A real stand-out of 2023, it came in at Number 3 in my Top 10 and kick-started a passion for tentacle-themed grinders that has shaped my content going into this year. My recent reviews of Odyssey Toys’ versions, the Coffin Grinder and Kraken Grinder, were constantly compared to it, and whilst the former didn’t quite live up to its tantalising shape, the latter’s use of a penetrable tentacle won me over. Well, it seems that in the year since I last reviewed for them, Uncover Creations have been busy. They have released not one, but two, follow ups to the Tentacle Grinder II, aptly named the III and IV, and lo and behold, the brand new IV also happens to offer a penetrable tentacle. Needless to say, I had to get it.
Review: Odyssey Toys Coffin Grinder
When Odyssey Toys, sister company to one of my favourite indie makers, recently reached out about reviewing their Kraken Grinder, I was so excited. But what was even more exciting was when the package arrived… a very large package that definitely didn’t contain just one item. I opened it a few days before Christmas, and it really did feel like I was getting all my gifts early, as they totally spoiled me with a mix of their own fantasy creations and Godemiche’s newest grinder range. And whilst I tried my best to focus on the Kraken Grinder, anyone who watched the unboxing at my Instagram knows that I immediately fell in love with the Coffin Grinder instead. Functionally, I knew that the Kraken Grinder was probably the better choice for me due to its penetrable nature, yet I just couldn’t shake the way I felt about its even more elaborate twin. So, when Odyssey Toys suggested a follow-up review, I jumped at the chance to finally showcase the Coffin Grinder in all its glory!
Review: Odyssey Toys Kraken Grinder
It’s been a few weeks now since my Top 10 Sex Toys of 2023 went live, and if you’ve had a chance to browse the winners yet, you’ll know that I placed a toy I gave an overly negative review to at Number 3 (what a twist!). That toy is the Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II, and even though it has plenty of issues, the fact is that it was one of the most memorable reviews I completed last year. Whilst functionally grinders are very simple, they offer a true blank canvas for toy makers, allowing them to go all in on immersive fantasy designs that resonate with users on a deeper level than just pleasure. And it was exactly this that led me to fall in love with the Tentacle Grinder II, from its detailed Lovecraftian design to its tapered tip for just the slightest amount of insertion. So, when I was recently contacted by another UK-based indie maker, who offers a toy that takes everything I loved about the Tentacle Grinder II and then amps it up another notch? Well, I was all in.
Review: Uncover Creations Tentacle Grinder II
Going from never trying a grinder before to reviewing six of them at once last year in my Grinder Round-Up was certainly a risky decision, but one that I’m so glad I made, with this new style of sex toy being one of the highlights of 2022. Since then, I’ve reviewed three more, (the luxury Vibe Pad and innovative Godemiche Grind Ring in Pyramids and Bubbles), and with another three now on the way (Banana Pant’s Bumpher, Shagger & Honeybunch), this exciting new trend is showing no signs of slowing down. Of course, today’s review is also on a grinder, and this one is a real beauty. The Tentacle Grinder II from small business Uncover Creations is certainly a sight to behold, with its large singular tentacle protruding from the ocean depths that is its base.
Review Round-Up: Grinders
Like many people, grinding was my entry point into the world of masturbation. Whether it meant rubbing at my vulva by hand or going on top of my pillows at night, I was doing it long before I even knew what a vibrator was. But now, after seven years of testing hundreds of sex toys, it’s not often I find myself resorting to this kind of “acoustic” play anymore. After all, I have all kinds of gadgets that can achieve the same thing for far less effort, and thus grinding had become but a distant memory. So, you can imagine my surprise when in 2021 a new toy trend seemingly emerged out of nowhere: grinders. From indie makers releasing a wave of textured non-insertables, to retailers relabelling old favourites like the We-Vibe Touch and Tenga Iroha+ Kushi as grindable toys, clearly something was going on, and I wanted in. Which is why I sought out six of the best for today’s very special grinder review round-up!