Review: Darque Path Cthulhu

Over the last few years I’ve become a massive fan of the work of H.P. Lovecraft and the Mythos he inspired. Growing up with little exposure to horror films or books (even the The Little Mermaid gave me nightmares as a child), his wide collection of short stories has served as the perfect gateway into this world for me, especially when you consider how much of it has formed the basis of the genre today. I often spend evenings reading over annotations of his work (yes, including analysis on the unpleasant racist overtones), have forked out way too much money on the Call of Cthulhu role-playing game (considering I have no one to play it with), and even though I still have a long way to go with catching up on horror as a film genre, I’ve just recently taken my first steps with John Carpenter’s Apocalypse Trilogy (which was also inspired by Lovecraft). But with my job being what it is, there has always been one thing missing, and that is, of course, a fantasy toy inspired by the most famous of all his creations: Cthulhu. For the longest time I had my eyes on Uberrime’s version, but size concerns and US shipping prices held me back, until finally it disappeared from their store. Just when I thought all was lost however, I discovered Darque Path and their very own interpretation made right here in Australia!

The Brand

I’ve already spoken a fair bit about how 2021 seems to be the year of the Australian indie fantasy scene in my review of the Faux Phallus Agapanthus. But while they were the first I found back in January, it wasn’t long before they shared with me another maker who was doing something very similar: Darque Path. Based in NSW and run by power couple Manda and Troy, they’re a real dream team with Manda’s background as a qualified Sexologist and Kink Educator and Troy’s past experience creating wax play candles. What’s even more exciting though is the unique theme of their store, as while Faux Phallus specialise in floral and organic designs, Darque Path couldn’t be more different, with their gothic take on gods, folklore and mythical creatures, such as the Leviathan, Hades, Cecaelia, and, of course, Cthulhu. Plus, in the short time they’ve been on my radar (their store is a little older than Faux Phallus however, opening in September 2020) they’ve already evolved so much, releasing countless new silicone designs and creating some stunning colours with their pours. Offering both customs of their products (allowing you to choose the colours, density, and whether it has a hole for Vac-U-Lock attachments / bullet vibrators) as well as occasional drops of pre-made toys, they mostly offer dildos, but have a small range of other items such as butt plugs, cock rings, and candles too. Finally, while they might be based in Australia they do offer international shipping, however if you are a local then you’ll be able to sleep easy with their standard shipping only going as high as $15.50 AUD.

Product Description

As much as I was immediately drawn to the Cthulhu the moment I first laid eyes upon Darque Path’s store, I was still careful to check over the measurements before setting my heart on anything. As with most fantasy stores, Darque Path’s sizes run large, and while this is ideal for most it is something I often struggle with. Luckily though they feature a handy size guide on their website (although this is fairly old and hasn’t been updated with most of their newer products), and through this I was happy to learn that not only is the Cthulhu one of their smaller toys, but it sounded perfect for me! With a total length of just 18cm / 7.1″ and only about 13 – 16cm / 5 – 6.3″ of that being usable, it is quite a short dildo. However the thick shaft certainly makes up for this, with a maximum diameter of 5.7cm / 2.25″! This easily soars past my previous largest toy, the Uberrime Dr. Manhattan, which only had a maximum diameter of 4.7cm / 1.83″, but before you get too worried for me, the widest point is actually located at the base, and so I don’t really expect to use this area. Instead, the actual head of the Cthulhu is only 4.3cm / 1.7″, whilst the main size of the usable area is 3.8cm / 1.5″, and so while this can be a very large toy for those who want to use all of it, for me the majority of its length certainly seemed achievable.

When Darque Path saw me raving about their Cthulhu they were kind enough to not only offer to send one out to me, but gave me the opportunity it customise it as well! At the time this pour of their Empress was my favourite on their site, and as green and black are the colours most commonly associated with Cthulhu I asked if they could do something similar. What I received then absolutely met the brief, with a gorgeous blend of black, light green and dark green, they were even kind enough to make it glow-in-the-dark too. The toy itself is then wonderfully aquatic, with a combination of tentacle-like suckers and raised bumps, alongside a totally alien shape that couldn’t be further from my collection of mostly realistic dildos. More than an interpretation of the Great Old One’s dick however, I like to think it takes inspiration directly from Lovecraft’s 1926 short story The Call of Cthulhu, in which multiple versions of a 7″ religious-like idol are found, made of an unknown “greenish-black stone” and representing “a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline” (the fact that one of these figures is then found in Sydney in the story only makes this so much better). With a completely untapered flat head, the back of the toy is then quite smooth, whilst the front features the suckers and the sides focus on various lumps and bulges before finally increasing in size significantly for the last third of the product’s length. Despite this bulbous finish however, which allows for the product to stand upright, there is no actual base and so the Cthulhu is not compatible with harnesses nor would I recommend it be taken anally. As for the silicone used this is then fairly rough to the touch due to prominent printer texture (more on this below), but it is at least quite soft and squishy, which I was super happy with.

Unexpected Issues

You might have already noticed from the photos, but there is an unfortunate downside to the Darque Path Cthulhu, or at least to my copy. Various flaws cover the surface, from prominent circular markings that would have been created by a 3D printer when the master copy was made, to pore-like bubbles and cuts on the surface. Worst of all, there is an extremely visible seam that runs around the toy’s entire length, and it is here that countless tears and holes can be found. This is obviously a huge safety concern, as bacteria can easily hide in any and all of these defects, making cleaning the toy properly after each use almost impossible without fully sterilising it (and even then I’m not sure if this can completely clean it). This meant that upon receiving the Cthulhu I did have to seriously consider whether it was something I wanted to put in my body, and to be completely honest if I had actually spent money on it then I would have wanted to return it. It seems I’m not alone with this train of thought either, as after speaking with the fantasy toy community the general consensus was that an item of this poor quality should not be sold without a serious discount and warning, if at all. Of course, with Darque Path being one of so few Australian makers and still relatively new, I decided to simply share my concerns with them but otherwise continue with the review. Thankfully it does seem they’ve listened, creating new moulds for most of their original products and (sadly) discontinuing the Cthulhu. But unfortunately as a reviewer I can only really comment on what I actually own, and since I haven’t seen any of these newer products myself I cannot vouch for their quality.

Packaging

My order was placed with Darque Path for their Cthulhu on the 1st of February and I promptly received it by the 3rd, which was great. The package didn’t list what was inside but Darque Path was listed as the sender, which might be a concern if privacy matters to you. The packaging for the toy itself was then very large, considering it just contained the Cthulhu and their smaller Thulu butt plug, but this is likely because they use the same box for all orders, including larger ones (I didn’t keep this due to the size of it, but you can see it at my unboxing video). Plus, while larger boxes are typically inconvenient and feel wasteful, this was at least of quite high quality and completely black, making it ideal for reuse. Opening this up I then found the two toys wrapped in plastic wrap, alongside a beautiful black storage bag sized for the Cthulhu, a business card, sticker, care instructions (although the information on this regarding dildos is quite limited, just stating to sterilise them using “your preferred method”), and best of all: candy! Overall, while I do feel like a few things could be improved with this, it was certainly more than I expected from a new indie maker, and was a fantastic first impression.

Glow-In-The-Dark

Considering the otherworldly nature of Cthulhu I was really excited by the potential of this toy’s glow-in-the-dark properties. So far at the blog we’ve seen toys where the entire product glows, as well as those where just a portion of it does, and so I was intrigued by how Darque Path would go about this considering the three pours of silicone involved with this toy. It turns out though that they have just included the glowing pigment in the light green portion of the product, which is arguably the least prominent shade on the Cthulhu. This means that whilst that area glows, the majority of the toy remains completely dark, which creates a wonderful ghostly effect that I just love. Plus, this combined with the brightness of the glow, which has to be one of the best I’ve seen, looks absolutely amazing, and so this is now hands down the coolest looking glow-in-the-dark toy I own.

My Experience

With the combination of its size, untapered head, and medium density, I always knew the Darque Path Cthulhu was going to be a challenge to insert, but it was one that I was more than willing to rise to the occasion for. I quickly found that using the Funkit Toys NoFrillDo R, Tantus Pack ‘n Play No.2 and Tantus Vamp Super Soft to warm up prior to taking the Cthulhu worked perfectly for inserting its initial length, down to where the shaft extends out into the three gill-like bumps. But this seemed to be my natural stopping point, and with only 6cm / 2.4″ of length inserted into me it might as well have been the end of the toy according to my vagina. So with more than half of the toy left to enjoy, which was hardly good enough for me, I resolved to dedicate almost two hours, 10+ orgasms, and six other dildos (the three mentioned above, followed by the Uberrime Spiro Nebula, Uberrime Ripley Alien and Uberrime Dr. Manhattan) to conquering it. Even with that all of that though I only really managed get past the three bumps and cause myself a lot of discomfort in the process… but at least it was something. Still, if a toy needs that much effort to use then it better be bloody good once it’s in, and since I couldn’t even move it, as the distance between the third bump and the following larger bump is barely 1cm / 0.4″, it most definitely was not, and so I haven’t attempted such a feat again.

As a result, I completed most of my testing only being able to insert the first third of the Darque Path Cthulhu, which was quite a disappointment when I was so careful with the measurements. Still, it meant I was at least able to enjoy a good portion of the tentacle-like suckers, which were definitely one of the aspects I was most eager to try. With a sensation as prominent as I had hoped, they do indeed feel amazingly satisfying in use, and pressing them against the front of my vaginal wall is easily one of the best parts of using the Cthulhu. A texture that it less pleasant however, is that of the 3D printing marks and seam, which do create a somewhat scratchy feel inside of me, and so using a thicker lubricant such as Lovehoney Delight has been necessary to try and combat this. Another element that I am not so fond of is the bulbous untapered head, as I find the feeling of it entering me fairly uncomfortable, which puts me off thrusting the toy fully in and out. So considering I already have barely any length to use in the first place, this really isn’t great. Anyway, while the size of the Cthulhu obviously isn’t for me, I do enjoy the fullness it brings, and this combined with the suckers does mean that I can at least enjoy some great orgasms with it when combined with a clitoral vibrator such as the Dame Kip.

Cleaning & Care

Since the Darque Path Cthulhu is fully silicone and waterproof, cleaning it somewhat easy, although extra care is required due to the defects in the material. As usual you can soak it in some hot soapy water before scrubbing it over with a spare toothbrush, putting particular attention to the seam, but to be sure it is fully clean I would recommend sterilising it at least every few uses, and you can do this primarily by boiling it for three minutes. You can then return it to its storage bag or use a zip-lock bag to keep it extra clean. Lastly, make sure to only use water-based lubricants with this product, as others may have negative effects on the silicone.

Final Thoughts

I was so excited when I found out about Darque Path earlier this year that I wanted nothing more than to support their store as best as I could. But as much as I wanted to love the Cthulhu, I’d be a pretty lousy (and biased!) reviewer if I didn’t state the obvious. While I could put the quality issues with this toy down to just how new the brand is, it doesn’t really hold up when you consider that Faux Phallus sent me three flawless products less than a month after opening their store, compared to Darque Path’s almost 6 months. Plus, prior to being discontinued, the Cthulhu was sold at a luxury price tag of $110 AUD, which is more than double the cost of the toy I reviewed from Faux Phallus. So, considering both these facts and how the level of defects is to such a point where it could cause health concerns, it is really unacceptable. Besides, even without all of this, I’ve gotta admit I was quite disappointed by the Cthulhu, as while I was careful to get a toy I thought I could use, in the end only a very small portion of it really fit me, and I just felt like there was too much going on considering its short length. Overall, as excited as I was by this toy, I do believe Darque Path have made the correct decision in discontinuing it, and I do hope that one day, with a bit more refinement, they can eventually become a company I can recommend.

Updates

[26/9/21] Darque Path reached out recently about sending me a new toy to show their quality improvements. They suggested a few of their smaller toys, to which I chose their Upir Maw, and left the rest (colours, density etc) up to them. The product I then received was absolutely beautiful, and showed great improvements to all aspects of their work, from the colour scheme to the design itself. Plus, none of the issues I had with the Cthulhu were present, going a long way to restoring my faith in this brand. In addition, they have also recently released an updated design of their Cthulhu, and while it looks like a significant improvement from the version I received, it still features much of what I loved about the original.

You can get the Cthulhu in its updated design directly from Darque Path for just $115 AUD / $83 USD!

I received this product in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.