Review: Lovehoney Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl

As a sex toy reviewer I feel like I’m always looking at new releases and trying to discover that next big thing, but if we were going to talk about products that have stood the test of time to be well loved years after their launch, then I’d be remiss to not mention Lovehoney’s hugely popular Greedy Girl from their Fifty Shades of Grey line. The UK retailer’s collaboration with the best-selling book series is one of their most notable collections, but no product from it has ever quite come close to the cult-status that this classic black rabbit has acquired. For years now I’ve watched it consistently rank as one of Lovehoney’s best selling products, and to be perfectly honest I always just assumed it was because of the FSOG craze, and nothing more. But with the film adaptations over, and the books celebrating their 10th year anniversary, the fad may be gone but the Greedy Girl’s sales have shown no signs of slowing down. So today, with the help of JOUJOU, I think it is finally time to see what all the fuss is about!

Product Description

The Lovehoney Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl is about as classic a rabbit vibrator as you can get. A long straight shaft with a bulbous curved head at the end is intended to massage your G-Spot, whilst a smaller arm shaped like a rabbit (complete with two ears) is featured further down for clitoral stimulation. The biggest thing that stood out to me when I first received it however, and which I absolutely did not expect, was just how large this thing is! With an insertable length of 14cm / 5.5 inches and a maximum diameter of 3.8cm / 1.5 inches, the Greedy Girl is much larger than the regular vibrator, and at first glance I wasn’t even sure if I would be able to use it! Plus, with a prominent handle that tapers out into a stand, making the full length 25cm / 10 inches, it appears much larger than it really is, easily towering over all of my other vibrators (this is also because it’s the only one that can stand up by itself) and even a few of my larger dildos too. On the bottom of the stand you’ll find the FSOG logo, and it’s on this ABS plastic area where you’ll also find the product’s two buttons and charging hole. The rest of the Greedy Girl is then made up of a silky but firm body-safe silicone, and typically it is only available in black (a signature of the range), however Lovehoney are also offering it in gold right now to celebrate the series’s 10th anniversary. On that note, while this is the original Greedy Girl rabbit, Lovehoney also produce a few different versions of it, such as a thruster and slimline. Finally, this toy is fully waterproof and USB rechargeable, and while it is anal safe it is not intended for this use.

Packaging

My order with JOUJOU for the Lovehoney Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl was placed on the 28th of July 2020 and I received it promptly on the 31st, which was brilliant considering the postal delays that were occurring back then. Plus, the box was completely discreet, with no mention of the sender or the contents. The packaging for the Greedy Girl itself is then fairly simple, which is what I’m use to from Lovehoney’s products and my only other FSOG toy, and considering this is a fairly low-priced vibrator I thought that was acceptable. A thin cardboard box featuring images and information on the toy, the Greedy Girl’s packaging can then be opened once the safety stickers are removed to reveal the product resting in paper (which does seem a little insecure). Included with it are then a huge silk storage bag that is branded with the FSOG logo (not at all discreet, but perfect for fans), a USB charging cord, and a small instruction manual.

Charging

Charging the Lovehoney Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl is easy since it is USB rechargeable. Just plug one end of the cord into a USB port, and the other end into the bottom of the toy. When charging the LED light above the charging port will be red, and when it is fully charged the light will change to green. Lovehoney recommend an initial charge of the toy before you first use it, which will take around two hours, and this should then give you around one hour of play time.

Controls

Controlling the Greedy Girl with its two buttons is pretty straight-forward. Essentially Lovehoney have given each motor its own button, and remembering which is which is easy as the larger button controls the larger internal arm, whilst the smaller button controls the smaller external arm. To turn an arm on just press the corresponding button, and they can then either be used separately or together. You can continue clicking the larger button to cycle through the internal arm’s three speeds and nine patterns, or the smaller button to cycle through the external arm’s three speeds. Then, to turn either off, just hold down the corresponding button. All of this works great and there is a good variety of speeds, however one thing I am not a fan of is that the internal arm has a ‘memory’ feature, where if you turn it off on pattern 5, for instance, it will return to pattern 5 when turned back on. As someone who hates patterns and likes to change the speed of her toy throughout play, I often find myself turning toys off and on in order to return to the lowest speed quickly, rather than clicking through all of the patterns. But since that cannot be done with this toy, it means that whenever I reach the top speed I need to click nine times in order to return to the lowest speed. The only upside is that this is not the case for the clitoral arm, nor does it have patterns, which is good as it would be far more of a problem than with the G-Spot vibrations, as I care for these less. Finally, another issue is that the buttons are very easy to press accidentally, and I have done so numerous times whilst this product has been in storage awaiting review. This is fixed somewhat by the fact that the Greedy Girl has a travel lock, which can be activated and deactivated by holding both buttons down for two seconds (charging it will also deactivate this). However, if the buttons are pressed whilst the travel lock is activated it’ll still vibrate twice quickly, which, while far better than going off fully, isn’t exactly discreet nor what I want when travelling, and so I feel it would serve far better if the toy just didn’t respond (or simply flashed its lights) when the travel lock is on.

First Impressions

Considering the love people have for this toy, I had pretty high expectations regarding its power levels. So when I turned it on for the first time and found strong but extremely buzzy vibrations in the internal arm I was a little taken aback. It all made sense as soon as I turned on the external arm however, which has beautifully rumbly vibrations with a hefty amount of power behind them. As someone who values her clitoral stimulation far more than anything else, this immediately told me I was going to be having a good time regardless of what the internal arm had to offer. Plus, I was seriously impressed by the amount of movement the vibrations give to the rabbit ears on the smaller arm, reminding me of flicking stimulators like the ZALO HERO and Vibease Ruby. As for the noise level it is then fairly loud, but considering the size of the Greedy Girl I was actually impressed that it wasn’t worse, and I do think you could perhaps get away with using it behind closed doors if you make sure to only turn it on once it’s inside of you, as this will dampen sound of the internal arm.

My Experience

Two things I was very aware of going into this review is that rabbits don’t typically agree with my body measurements, and that I generally need a bigger curve in order to stimulate my G-Spot. Due to this I had pretty low expectations of how my experience with the Greedy Girl would go, regardless of whether it was a good product or not. To start I found that I could insert it without any prior arousal despite its large size, however this was still a bit of a tight fit, and so using a smaller toy such as the Funkit Toys NoFrillDo first is definitely my preference. The small curve on the toy’s shaft was then helpful in allowing it to find my G-Spot, however it wasn’t enough to fully stimulate me, and angling it in this way meant that the smaller arm was nowhere near my clitoris, therefore confirming what I had already assumed: that both areas wouldn’t be able to be stimulated at once as intended. Moving the toy back to position the rabbit’s ears over my clit I was starting to think that all was lost, until, that is, I turned on the vibrations. The rumbly motor of the external arm on my clitoris feels absolutely wonderful, and this is only further enhanced by the movement of the rabbit’s ears. In fact, they move so much that it creates an almost thumping-like feeling within the toy that reminds me of a thruster. Turning the internal vibrations on then deepens the sensation, and while the Greedy Girl can be used hands-free, thrusting it has quickly become my favourite method, with the flexible ears allowing for these movements to occur comfortably while also maintaining full contact. All of this is especially aided by the toy’s excellent handle, which I find very comfortable to hold and use, with the buttons being positioned perfectly and the curve allowing you to apply extra pressure with ease. Orgasms with the Greedy Girl are then incredible, being not only quick and powerful, but extremely satisfying, and easily the best I have ever experienced from a traditional rabbit vibrator.

Cleaning & Care

Cleaning the Lovehoney Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl is easy as it is waterproof. Just wipe it down with some warm soapy water, rinse, and leave to air dry. You can then return it to its storage bag to ensure it stays clean before the next use. Make sure to not use silicone-based lubricant with this product, as it may react badly to the silicone it is made of, but if you do then first perform a spot test.

Final Thoughts

My enthusiasm for rabbits has only recently been restored after my review of the exceptional We-Vibe Nova 2, but even that wasn’t enough to take away from the years of bad dual-stimulator experiences all telling me that I wouldn’t like the Lovehoney Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl. But after finally trying it out for myself, I don’t just like it, I love it! The rumbly vibes of the external arm alongside the flicking movements of the ears provide wonderfully focused stimulation to my clitoris, whilst the large straight shaft of the internal arm provides a full feeling that is greatly enhanced by movements that are made easy with the ergonomic handle. Then, while the insertable element sadly couldn’t provide G-Spot vibrations at the same time as the clitoral arm, I honestly didn’t miss it as the sensations I was receiving from what I could feel were so intense anyway that it didn’t matter. Overall, I think this is easily the best traditional rabbit vibrator that I have tried, and considering its reasonable price I would wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone looking to delve into this sort of play, or if you’re just eager for an upgrade. Of course, if you’re a FSOG fan as well, then you’re going to be in for even more of a treat!

You can get the Lovehoney Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl from JOUJOU for just $119.99 AUD / $87 USD!

I received this product in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.