Review: ZALO BESS

It’s no secret that the design aesthetic ZALO brings to this industry is one of my all-time favourites. In the four years I’ve been working with them they have not only consistently released some of the most beautiful electronics there is, but their innovative ideas and exemplary packaging have been unrivalled. From their Sweet Magic series, inspired by the beautiful anime magical girls I grew up watching, to their more recent Legend line, featuring ancient Egyptian design cues that speak directly to the history buff in me, I can’t say enough good things about the way ZALO present their products and brand. But there is something else I’ve brought up time and time again when speaking about their products, and that is that they always try to do too much, and rather than having a single product that can do one thing perfectly, they end up with a toy that can do many things averagely. In fact, my previous review for them was actually my most positive yet, and saw them enter my Top 10 of the year for the first time, despite the fact that it was the oldest toy I had tried so far, making me call for a return to their more simplified roots. So when I recently heard about their brand new Legend series toy, the BESS, I was all for it, but I can’t say I wasn’t worried!

Product Description

I asked for simplicity, so ZALO created the BESS, a 5-in-1 vibrator / clitoral stimulator that I don’t even know where to begin with. At its most basic level, the BESS is ZALO’s own interpretation of the Zumio, which was the toy that started the whole flicking stimulator trend back in 2017. This is a type of product ZALO have approached before, with their HERO and Amorette, but the BESS is much closer to the Zumio’s original design. As such, the thing that allows the BESS to stand apart from the Zumio is its three silicone attachments, which are included by default. There is a small ball-shaped attachment that’s suppose to allow for more direct pin-point stimulation of the clitoris, a petal-shaped attachment to replicate oral sex and provide a tickling sensation to nipples, and a slim G-Spot attachment to allow the toy to be inserted vaginally. Plus, if all of that wasn’t enough, ZALO have also included an additional motor in the handle of the BESS, allowing for that end to be inserted vaginally as well. It’s a lot, but even with all this I do feel ZALO have stripped back somewhat, most noticeably with the BESS not including a heating function, which has become so common with their toys, or being compatible with ZALO’s smartphone app. One feature I was really hoping would be included however, as it has been sorely missing from the other toys in the Legend line that I’ve tried so far, is for the toy to be waterproof. Sadly this still isn’t the case though, as the BESS is only water-resistant, making it splash-proof rather than submersible.

Like my other two toys in ZALO’s Legend line, the HERO and Queen, the BESS uses design aesthetics taken from ancient Egypt. This is best seen on the ABS plastic at the top of the toy, where a beautiful pattern features just below the BESS’s antenna, bringing to mind the oversized collars worn during that time, and this is only aided by the gold colouring. The buttons then continue this theme, as they also use this sort of stylised design (perhaps to their detriment, as it tells you nothing of what they do. However at least you can tell they’re buttons, which is an improvement from last two in the line), plus they are the element that best links the BESS to the Queen and HERO visually, as while they’re all similar, these two feature matching gold bands containing SWAROVSKI crystals and similar shapes, allowing them to look far more alike than the BESS does to either. The silicone handle of my BESS is then black, as are its attachments, however the toy also comes in turquoise green and velvet purple, which are both very luxurious shades and a great change from the usual toy colours. In regards to the attachments, the ball design is extremely simple and very small, as with a size of just 1cm / 0.4 inches I do worry it would be far too easy to lose. The petal design features a row of ‘leaves’ around the outside, and on the inside are 7 spikes which look less than pleasant. Finally the insertable attachment is the only one that continues the toy’s aesthetic, however this is subtle, and since it completely covers the gold elements of the toy when attached it does make the whole thing look at lot less interesting. Overall though the BESS is a beautifully designed toy, with the only downside visually being an obvious seam that runs around the toy’s handle and the insertable attachment.

Packaging

ZALO sent the BESS directly to me on the 11th of January and I received it promptly on the 15th, which was fantastic. Unfortunately though the package was not discreet at all, with the contents being listed as “massager” and the sender labelled as ZALO (you can view my full unboxing here). As the makers of some of the best toy packaging on the market I was eager to see what they had in store for the BESS, and I was definitely not disappointed. As with the other products in the Legend series, the BESS’s box is black aside from a gold hieroglyphics-style line-art, which looks stunning and just oozes luxury. In fact, the only real difference between the boxes is that unlike the HERO and the Queen, the BESS cannot be viewed prior to opening the box, as there is no clear window. Plus, rather than having a top that lifts off, the BESS’s box opens like a door, with the left-hand side being connected and the right-hand side being magnetically kept in place, so that when you open it the whole thing remains one piece. In addition to the artwork there is then some brief information on the box regarding the toy, and once opened you can see the toy and its attachments resting safely in foam, with both insertable elements also featuring safety seals so you know if these have been tampered with. Here you’ll also find a box containing the product’s accessories, which are a beautiful luxury storage bag, instruction manual, charging cord and warranty card (this lasts for one year, and after that you’re still eligible for their 10 year commitment). Overall I really love this packaging, and actually prefer not having a clear window to see the toy through as it allows the box to be far more discreet, making it ideal for storage.

Charging

Since the ZALO BESS is USB rechargeable, charging it is easy. One end of the charger simply fits into a USB port, while the other magnetically connects to the metal prongs on the back of the toy. This generally works fine, but make sure to leave the toy somewhere it won’t get moved or knocked as the magnets can disconnect fairly easily. Plus, one thing I like in particular about the charger is that it features the ZALO logo, making it easy to identify. Once everything is connected, a LED light should flash to indicate charging, and this light will then become solid when charging is complete. Charging should take 2 hours, and this will give you around 2 hours of playtime.

Controls

Despite the two buttons on the BESS not indicating what they do, using it is pretty easy to pick up once you know that each button simply controls the motor it is closest to. To turn the toy on you must first place it into stand-by mode, which can be done by clicking either button, regardless of which motor you want to use. You can then click either of the buttons to cycle through the corresponding motor’s eight modes, and when done you can hold down either button for three seconds. As the motors can’t run at the same time one will turn off when you click the other button, and will start on the next level from where you left off. Overall this is all fine, perhaps apart from the unnecessary standby mode which is easy to accidentally turn on or forget about. So it is really only once you start to have a closer look at the eight modes that you realise ZALO have committed the ultimate sex toy sin with the BESS. While both motors feature three steady speeds and five patterns, the steady speeds are nestled throughout the patterns, rather than being together at the front. I’ve only ever experienced this sort of bizarre choice twice before, unsurprisingly both times being with ZALO toys, and I absolutely hate it. In fact, the BESS is somehow way worse, as at least in the HERO and Amorette there were only a few modes, and so it would just switch between patterns and speeds, but the BESS has eight and an uneven amount of patterns to speeds, meaning it goes: speed 1, pattern 1, speed 2, pattern 2, pattern 3, speed 3, pattern 4, pattern 5. Just… WHHHYY?? Not only does this alienate people who like steady speeds like me, but it does the same thing to those who like patterns! Plus, even if you don’t care either way, it means you’ll be going from a chill wave pattern to the highest speed there is all of a sudden. Because of this I have to say that the ZALO BESS’s controls are by far some of the worst I’ve ever experienced, and they have made every test I’ve done with the toy a struggle. One positive at least is that the BESS has a travel lock, and this can be a activated or deactivated by holding both buttons down for three seconds.

First Impressions

The only comparison I really have for the ZALO BESS is the Zumio, but considering the BESS’s antenna is almost double the length and width of the Zumio’s, I wasn’t really sure what to expect when I first received it. Turning it on I found that while the Zumio does still seem to move a lot quicker, even on both toy’s highest settings, the BESS feels stronger simply due to how much larger it is. Plus, while the Zumio slows down the more pressure you put on it (which was never great for someone like me who enjoys pressure on her clit), the BESS does not. Another difference was then the noise level, as the BESS is much louder than the Zumio, and in general an extremely loud toy, so I do not think you would be able to use it discreetly, particularly on its third speed. As for the vibrations in the toy’s handle, these aren’t particularly strong and are instead quite buzzy, although they are still rather loud.

My Experience

To kick off my testing I begun with using the BESS’s antenna without any of its attachments, and out of everything, this was my favourite way to use the toy. It essentially takes what the Zumio offered but elevates it, using its larger antenna to create far broader sensations that penetrate far deeper than anything the Zumio could do. Plus, being able to press the BESS down on my clit to create pressure was something I was completely unable to achieve with the Zumio, and this really makes all the difference. The controls are definitely a struggle, and this was the case with all of my testing, so I tended to just put it on top speed and not change it, which would usually not be enough when using a traditional vibrator as I need there to be a build up, but with the BESS’s form of stimulation it actually worked. I also tested it in comparison to my closest other ZALO toy, the HERO, and the BESS was unquestionably better. Orgasms are quick and strong, and I am even able to have multiple, which is always a sign of a good toy. As for using the ball attachment over the antenna, it’s not a massive change, but ultimately I do think it dulls the sensations, which may be ideal for some, but not for me.

The BESS’s petal attachment was the one I was most concerned about, as the spikes inside of its nozzle do not look clitoris friendly. In fact, they remind me of one of the worst toys I’ve ever tried, the California Exotics Clitoral Pump. But this was actually not as bad as I thought it’d be in use, as the spikes are too far away from my clitoris to poke into it too much, and since this isn’t a suction toy like the Clitoral Pump was, there is no air pressure to press them against me. I don’t find it particularly pleasurable on my clitoris either though, as while it does feel good and is enough to bring me to orgasm, the fact that it’s just the area around my clit being stimulated, rather than my clit itself, leaves me feeling unsatisfied (and as for it feeling like oral sex, I have no idea where they got this impression). Due to this my favourite way to use this attachment is on my nipples, which seems to be its intended use anyway, although it isn’t something I’d probably try again outside of this review. As for the G-Spot attachment, this was my least favourite of the three. Being thinner than my finger in some areas, it just wasn’t able to provide enough sensation when inserted, plus its short length and mostly straight shaft meant it couldn’t even come close to stimulating my G-Spot. I suppose I can’t complain too much considering it was a free attachment, and if you prefer thin insertable toys then you’ll likely be happy with it, but again it wasn’t for me.

Now we’ve discussed one of the motors and its many uses, let’s flip the toy and talk about the other one. I remember when I was reviewing the ZALO HERO, I found an official video that suggested the HERO’s handle could be inserted, despite it not being listed on any other marketing material. So being a good reviewer I tried it out, and unsurprisingly it was terrible. Well, the idea of using the BESS’s handle feels just as random, other than the obvious fact that there is a motor there. Still, I can’t help but wonder if this was always the intended design, considering that to get a good amount of length inside of you, you need to insert elements of the toy such as the buttons, magnetic charging points, and ZALO logo, all which not only feel weird, but are a cleaning nightmare (I’m having flashbacks to the Satisfyer Curvy 2+). This also means that you can’t use the buttons on the fly when using the toy in this way, and if you do then you’re going to be getting even messier than you likely already are. In terms of how it feels I actually quite like it, but the other problem is there is nothing to hold onto in order to insert it deep enough to really enjoy yourself. With the antenna feeling super fragile, holding this is completely off the table, meaning all you really have is the little gold area for grip, and while this is okay, it’s certainly not the best. So when you consider the level of cleaning that’s then needed after using it this way, it doesn’t really seem worth it. Finally, I also tried using this end of the BESS on my clitoris, as I thought this might work better than using it internally, but unfortunately the vibrations were just too weak to really get me anywhere.

Cleaning & Care

Cleaning the ZALO BESS can be easy or tricky, depending on the way you’ve used it. If you’re just using the antenna on your clitoris as is, then you can quickly clean it with some soap and warm water, being careful to not get the product too wet or submerge it as it is only water resistant. If any of the attachments have been used, then these can be submerged as they are waterproof, but otherwise cleaned in the same way. For the internal attachment you’ll want to give this a more thorough clean if you’ve put it in deep enough for the ribbed area to get messy, and for this I’d recommend going over it with a spare soapy toothbrush before rinsing. Finally, the internal-use handle is the most time consuming to clean, as you’ll need to give it a deep clean with a toothbrush around its buttons, logo, charging port, and perhaps even the gold area, while also not letting the BESS get too wet. Afterwards you can store all of the pieces together in its storage bag, however if you plan on using anything internally then a zip-lock bag would keep it more sanitary (just make sure to get all of the water out of the attachments first, as this can take awhile). Do not use silicone-based lubricant with this product, as it may react badly to the silicone it is made of.

Final Thoughts

I’m having a bit of déjà vu with this review, because it’s pretty much gone the same way as every other ZALO toy I’ve tried. Can the BESS do a lot of things kind of well? Yes. Can it do anything perfectly? No. All three of the attachments were uninteresting, and while I can see them being good for some people (the ball for those wanting to dull the sensations, the petal for those who enjoy nipple stimulation, and the G-Spot arm for those who enjoy slim vibes), they weren’t for me. Then there was the internal arm, and again this was fine but not something I would try again, especially considering the cleaning that is required. Really the best part of the BESS was the core product that you get to once you take away all those extra bits, as the actual clitoral stimulation with its antenna was excellent. But having the controls skip around between the steady speeds and patterns made even this difficult to enjoy, which was a real shame as otherwise I could have quite easily seen this becoming a new favourite of mine. Then, of course, there was the fact that the BESS isn’t waterproof, which has been a consistent issue that I’ve brought up within all my reviews of their Legend series, and honestly in 2021 there is really no excuse for a luxury toy to not offer this. Overall if you don’t think the negatives I’ve mentioned in this review would bother you and you enjoyed the Zumio, or perhaps one of the attachments actually sounds perfect for you, then I’d recommend this. But otherwise I hope (as I always do) that ZALO will continue to work on the BESS and this idea, because with just a little refinement they could have a real gem on their hands.

You can get the ZALO BESS from JOUJOU for just $179.99 AUD / $130 USD!

I received this product in exchange for an honest and unbiased review. Affiliate links have been used in this post.