Discontinued

Closetplay Sex Toys, Dildos, Reviews, Silicone

Review: Closetplay Speedster

Closetplay Speedster

In October 2021 the sex toy world suffered a huge loss. Geeky Sex Toys, Australia’s first (and, for a long time, only) independent maker of silicone toys, closed their virtual doors. Pioneers of the fantasy genre, they introduced the idea of mixing pop culture with sex toys for all us “naughty nerds” out there, and as it turned out, there were a lot of us. But while they might have been the first to bring us the lightsaber dildo and Pikachu butt plug, they certainly won’t be the last. Many retailers, from other indie makers such as Deep N’ Geek to big brands like The Realm by Blush Novelties, have taken inspiration from Geeky Sex Toys over the years. However, I don’t think any have quite captured their almost chaotic creativity quite like newcomer Closetplay Sex Toys.

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Advent Calendar, Lovehoney, Reviews

Review: Lovehoney Couples Advent Calendar 2021

Lovehoney Advent Calendar 2021

I’ve probably mentioned this once or twice over the years, but I am a huge Christmas person. My decorations go up on November 1st without fail, with practically every element in the house getting switched over to a festive version, from Christmas aprons and tea towels, to Christmas bath mats and pyjamas. I start menu planning months ahead of time and spend most of December in the kitchen, that is when I’m not attending Christmas markets, drinking eggnog or wrapping presents. But one of my absolute favourite parts of Christmas for as long as I can remember has always been the advent calendars. Over the years I’ve watched as they’ve evolved from basic chocolates to luxury varieties filled with things like bath bombs and wine, and I have been 100% here for all of it, regularly having three just to myself (this year’s themes being local craft beer, Back To The Future, and the annual DIY one from my mum, which is usually a mix of tea and candy). The one type of calendar I haven’t tried yet, however, which may be somewhat surprising considering my profession, is sex toys. So this year Christmas feels like it has come early, because Lovehoney have treated me to their very own 2021 “Best Sex Of Your Life” Couples Advent Calendar!

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Clitoral Stimulator, Reviews, Satisfyer, Silicone, USB Rechargeable, Vibrators

Review: Satisfyer Dual Love & Dual Pleasure

Satisfyer Dual Love & Dual Pleasure

From the moment I tried the legendary Pro 2 back in 2016, Satisfyer, and their groundbreaking suction technology, became one of my all time favourite brands. For years this continued, with each Satisfyer being somehow better than the last, until finally culminating in 2019’s Satisfyer Luxury, their most ambitious (and expensive!) toy yet, whose powerful clitoral stimulation made it more than worth the price tag. But after this, things started to change. Satisfyer rebranded, switching their previously luxury feel to one more aimed at newcomers, and begun to release a wide range of products (ending their suction specialisation) at much lower prices than before. Cautiously pessimistic, I held back on reviewing for them for some time after that, until finally I broke my silence when I tried their first app compatible toys, the Curvy 1+ & 2+, around this time last year. With the pair all but confirming my fears about the declining standards of the brand however, it wasn’t the return to Satisfyer I had hoped. So when Betty’s Toy Box recently contacted me about trying the Curvy’s successors, the Dual Pleasure and Dual Love, it seemed only fair to give the brand I once loved so much a second chance.

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Darque Path, Dildos, Reviews, Silicone

Review: Darque Path Cthulhu

Darque Path Cthulhu

Over the last few years I’ve become a massive fan of the work of H.P. Lovecraft and the Mythos he inspired. Growing up with little exposure to horror films or books (even the The Little Mermaid gave me nightmares as a child), his wide collection of short stories has served as the perfect gateway into this world for me, especially when you consider how much of it has formed the basis of the genre today. I often spend evenings reading over annotations of his work (yes, including analysis on the unpleasant racist overtones), have forked out way too much money on the Call of Cthulhu role-playing game (considering I have no one to play it with), and even though I still have a long way to go with catching up on horror as a film genre, I’ve just recently taken my first steps with John Carpenter’s Apocalypse Trilogy (which was also inspired by Lovecraft). But with my job being what it is, there has always been one thing missing, and that is, of course, a fantasy toy inspired by the most famous of all his creations: Cthulhu. For the longest time I had my eyes on Uberrime’s version, but size concerns and US shipping prices held me back, until finally it disappeared from their store. Just when I thought all was lost however, I discovered Darque Path and their very own interpretation made right here in Australia!

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Bestvibe, Clitoral Stimulator, Reviews, Silicone, USB Rechargeable

Review: Bestvibe Beinlove Tongue Rabbit

Bestvibe Beinlove Tongue Rabbit

There is one big problem with buying sex toys, or really anything, online. As an anxiety-driven person, I am 100% here for the comfort and luxury of shopping from my own home, and this has never felt so important as when I started buying adult products. But as with clothes, shoes, glasses, and anything else where a “fit” really matters, looking at toys such as vibrators and dildos online, versus in person, can be a bit misleading. I’ve made plenty of mistakes over the years due to incorrect assumptions of how large or soft an item would be (always read the description and measurements carefully, folks!), with some notable errors being when I thought the Tantus Splish would be a fully-sized dildo (rather than the size of my finger) or when I assumed for years that the Uberrime Tentare Tentacle was too thick for me to insert (despite it being a small bullet vibrator cover the whole time). But even after almost six years of doing this professionally, it seems I still haven’t learned. So today we’re taking a look at the Bestvibe Beinlove Tongue Rabbit, a product I thought would be a clitoral suction toy, but is instead a fully blown clitoral pump.

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Bestvibe, Reviews, Silicone, USB Rechargeable, Vibrators

Review: Bestvibe 3 Motors Rabbit Vibrator

Bestvibe 3 Motors Rabbit Vibrator

Bestvibe has genuinely got to be one of my favourite online sex shops to browse. While a lot of their products are made with questionable materials, or just straight-up not body-safe, I can’t deny there is a strange charm to their huge variety of sex toys. Confusing images and text aside, the concepts for their toys are often so completely out there that I can’t imagine seeing them anywhere else. It’s a middle-ground where weird and wacky meets innovation, and while I’m sure there are a lot of failures, based on their customer reviews it seems there are a lot of successes as well. So when the company recently reached out to me about reviewing some of their toys, I knew I was going to have a difficult time narrowing down my wish list. Ultimately though I decided the weirder the better, and ended up choosing two toys that could easily end up being either brilliant… or disastrous. The first, an ultra realistic dual density dildo that seems too good to be true, and the second, a vibrator with not two, not three, but four arms! Today I will be reviewing the latter, but keep an eye out for the next review in this series soon!

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