Non-phallic

Review: Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo

Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo

The last few years my collection of metal dildos has seen a rapid expansion, and I’m 100% here for it. Previously consisting of just my Njoy Pure Wand, I now have ample choice when it comes to playing with this unique type of toy. And as much as I love silicone, metal has become something of a new favourite. The reliable smoothness, as opposed to never knowing quite what you’re going to get with a silicone dildo, is frankly refreshing, especially for someone who isn’t always the biggest fan of some silicone’s level of tack. Plus, you haven’t really lived until you’ve warmed yourself up from the inside with a pre-heated metal dildo on a cold day. The big downside here is, of course, the price, but thanks to white-label retailers like Funzze, even that’s becoming a thing of the past. Despite being initially cautious about their Pure Wand dupe, I ended up loving it so much it earned fifth place in my Top 10 Sex Toys of 2023. So, when they recently suggested I try their latest metal creation, the Funzze Stainless Steel Beaded Dildo, I was all in.

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Review: Funzze Glass Tentacle

Funzze Glass Tentacle

I love browsing the new arrivals section at Funzze to see all the latest sex toys they’re offering. Not only are they surprisingly high-quality and enjoyable products for a white-label retailer (so much so that they dominated last year’s Top 10 Sex Toys), but they are also some of the cheapest on the market. So when I recently saw they had launched a new range of glass toys, my first impression was one of excitement, especially when I noticed their Glass Tentacle dildo, a style I have been wanting to review for a long time. But… after this initial reaction, I hesitated. Even though I regularly talk about glass sex toys and how safe they are, I have actually only reviewed a few, and that was some time ago. Funzze’s options, to make matters even more uncertain, are made of borosilicate glass, yet are not annealed. I ended up doing a lot of research, and you can probably guess the outcome…

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Review: Njoy Disco

Njoy Disco

It’s been 19 years since Njoy launched and changed the sex toy industry forever. Coming onto the market with a very small selection of dildos and butt plugs, their commitment to delivering high-quality stainless steel toys paired with carefully considered designs remains unmatched today. Since then, they have only released one other dildo, the Eleven in 2008, bringing their selection to a grand total of three, with the other two being the legendary Pure Wand and the versatile Fun Wand. Whilst I adore the Pure Wand and regularly talk about it here, even though my review was almost eight years ago (!!!), neither the Eleven or Fun Wand ever felt suitable for me personally, with the former being too big and the latter being more akin to an anal version of the Pure Wand. So, although I am very satisfied with just the Pure Wand, I’ll admit I have often thought about what it would be like if this iconic company ever released something new. Well, the wait is finally over, as I am pleased to introduce you to the Njoy Disco.

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Review: Freely Custom Dildo

Freely Custom Dildo

When I talk about custom sex toys, usually I’m referring to dildos designed by independent makers who allow you to choose your own colours, and if you’re lucky, maybe even the density. I suppose if you really wanted to fully customise your toy, you could get in touch with a store and try to organise a quote for something one-of-a-kind, but it is definitely not the norm, nor is it always an option. But that’s exactly where newcomer Freely comes in, who are looking to change all that. Because for the very first time, they’re offering truly custom sex toys that are both accessible and permanently available. While the Canadian small business does feature a small collection of their own semi-customisable designs, as well as influencer collaborations, the thing that makes this brand really special is their online 3D builder, which allows you to fully design your very own silicone dildo from scratch. Of course, I was over the moon when they approached me to try my hand at it, and quickly got to work planning my dream toy.

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Review: Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo

Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo

Recently I’ve been getting more into make-up and skincare, partly due to TikTok. I love watching people’s routines, although many of the products these influencers use are far too costly for me to even consider buying. That was when the algorithm started recommending me “dupes”, which is a shortened version of the word duplicate and young people slang for a product that is very similar to a popular competitor, yet cheaper. For the first time, make-up felt accessible to me, and these dupes have been the perfect entry-point for someone who is still learning what they like and who is not yet ready to commit to a luxury purchase. Anyway, the reason why I am telling you this story, is because when I saw today’s review item, I immediately felt like I was one of those TikTok beauty influencers, like I had the chance to help someone just starting out on their sex toy journey, just like they helped me. Because at $108 AUD / $70 USD, the Funzze Stainless Steel Dildo is the closest dupe of the legendary Njoy Pure Wand I’ve ever seen, and at less than half the price!

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Review: Wands of Lust Co Hercules

Wands of Lust Co Hercules

The world of crystals and harnessing their energy for healing and meditation is a truly fascinating one. I’ve tried a few sex toys now that make use of this unique material, and learning about their different properties and how they can bring positive change to your life is just as mesmerising as actually using them. But alas, despite my interest and efforts, I don’t know how much I find myself truly understanding these things beyond reading about them. Instead, I mostly just think crystals look pretty, and that’s okay too. So when Wands of Lust Co recently approached me about sending another of their products, I knew I wanted to go in a totally different direction visually than my previous review on their Aphrodite. And what’s more different from the translucent pink of rose quartz, than the endless black of pure obsidian?

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