Under $30

Review: Funzze Glass Tentacle

Funzze Glass Tentacle

I love browsing the new arrivals section at Funzze to see all the latest sex toys they’re offering. Not only are they surprisingly high-quality and enjoyable products for a white-label retailer (so much so that they dominated last year’s Top 10 Sex Toys), but they are also some of the cheapest on the market. So when I recently saw they had launched a new range of glass toys, my first impression was one of excitement, especially when I noticed their Glass Tentacle dildo, a style I have been wanting to review for a long time. But… after this initial reaction, I hesitated. Even though I regularly talk about glass sex toys and how safe they are, I have actually only reviewed a few, and that was some time ago. Funzze’s options, to make matters even more uncertain, are made of borosilicate glass, yet are not annealed. I ended up doing a lot of research, and you can probably guess the outcome…

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Review: Funzze Mini Realistic Dildo

Funzze Mini Realistic Dildo

Recently I’ve been spending a lot of time at r/SexToys helping to answer people’s questions (say hi if you see me!), and I’ve realised most posts fall into one of two categories. There are the beginners who have no idea where to start or what would work best for them, and then there is the exact opposite: people who know exactly what they want and just need help finding it. It’s made me more aware of just how versatile our desires can be, with many of these requests being for toys outside of the norm (hence why they’re struggling to locate them), particularly when it comes to sizing. I’m so accustomed to the average 18cm / 7″ length and 3.8cm / 1.5″ diameter of penetrables that I barely even stop to think about it, yet it seems there are plenty of people out there yearning for something different, from toys that are long and thin, short and thick, and every possible combination in between. So, when Funzze approached me about collaborating with them, I was instantly intrigued when I saw the Mini Realistic Dildo in their new arrivals.

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Review: Sohimi Deep Sucker

Sohimi Deep Sucker

I know I’m a little late to the party, but a few weeks ago I finally bought my first makeup sponge. I’m already obsessed, and whilst I’m no beauty influencer, I’d highly recommend getting one if you use liquid foundation. So, when Sohimi reached out recently about trying some more of their toys, it felt a bit like fate when I saw a clitoral stimulator cleverly disguised as a beauty blender in their store. They sent the Deep Sucker out to me right away, and whilst the shape is great, I do think the size, which is more than double a typical makeup sponge, offers a clear hint that this item isn’t what it seems. Regardless, with a standing design that places the suction nozzle at its base, this is still a promising sex toy for anyone who needs to maintain their privacy.

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Review: Funzze Sucking Massager

Funzze Sucking Massager

Recently I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about budget toys and options for spending less when it comes to products like wand massagers, which are my second favourite sex toy. But what about suction toys, aka my number one? Even my usual low-price recommendation, the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation, has the potential to set you back $100 AUD / $70 USD or more if you can’t find a sale, whilst the cheapest option I’ve reviewed so far, the Satisfyer Curvy 2+, has had such a ridiculous price hike since I first wrote about it back in 2020, that it is now exactly double the cost that it was. So, I set out to find a better option for those who, like me, are tightening their belts right now, and, as always, the first place I looked was Funzze, who are known for their excellent prices.

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Review: Funzze Massager

Funzze Massager

Prices are going up, and as the cost of living crisis continues, standard groceries, household bills and luxuries like beauty goods are costing more than ever. Perhaps it’s not the same in every corner of the globe (I hope), but in Australia it is exhausting. Thankfully, however, this has not seemed to affect sex toys. In fact, they are becoming increasingly affordable, with dildos being made out of body-safe silicone no longer coming at a premium and even the relatively new air pressure wave trend setting you back only $60 AUD / $40 USD if you go with the bestselling Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation. Really the only product this price-drop has not seemed to affect is the wand massager, which is a real shame, because it’s also the one style of toy that I believe everyone should own a copy of. Sure, there’s been improvements, for instance my beloved Magic Wand Rechargeable, which was previously only available for $195 AUD / $130 USD, now has the cheaper Magic Wand Mini for $80 AUD / $55 USD less. But even this can be a lot to pay. So, over the past few months I’ve been on a hunt for budget wands to recommend, and the Funzze Massager is the cheapest I’ve come across so far.

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Review Round-Up: Australian-Made Lube

Australian-Made Lube of 2021I’ve always been a big supporter of buying local. After all, one of the reasons I started my blog was to help support Australian adult retailers and businesses. But over the course of the last two years, shopping local has felt less like the right thing to do, and more like a necessity. As what was once “unexpected” shipping delays becomes the norm, and more and more international retailers remove Australia from their standard shipping lists, purchasing goods from overseas no longer feels like an option for me, especially with the holiday season fast approaching. That’s part of why the opening of Faux Phallus and Darque Path, some of Australia’s first proper fantasy makers, earlier this year was so exciting. But in addition to this, there has been another, and perhaps even more vital, area of the industry that has recently saw local growth for the first time in a long time, and that is Australian-made lube. Within just the last year, four new brands have popped up around the country to ensure Australian’s aren’t without this pleasure essential, and today I’m going to be having a closer look at each of them.

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