Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimised by 2020… In fact, it’s hard to imagine anyone that has been unaffected by COVID-19 at this point, and as much as things are slowly starting to improve, I fear we still have a long way to go. Out of everything, the loss of experiences, whether it’s simply going to the pub or going away on that trip you’d planned, is what has seemed to hit people the most. But while those disappointments are easy to express and vocalise, I believe what we’re really missing is human connection and touch. Whether you have partners you’re isolating away from or not, intimacy is something that almost everyone craves, and often it is not just to fulfill sexual desires, but to create and maintain that deeper connection with those that you love. So, how do you achieve that when you’re apart? Well, there’s a lot more to it than just dick pics and phone sex, and so if you’re looking to step up your iso sex game then read on as I list my 5 Ways To Maintain Your Sex Life During COVID-19.
While I’ve written these tips directly for people who have partners or hook-ups they are isolating away from right now, they are most certainly still relevant to those of us who have spent the last few months stuck inside together. That’s actually the situation I happen to be in personally, and while there is a lot of pressure from society to consider ourselves lucky that we aren’t alone right now, it’s still pretty dang difficult to be stuck in a small space with someone for such an extended period of time, no matter how much you love them. Plus, while it seems like sex should be on the rise for those of us in this situation, it’s actually the opposite, as many of us are experiencing a loss of libido as the stress of our shared experience takes its toll. As such, I really do recommend you consider these suggestions even if you’re with your partner, as the main idea behind all of them is to find new and entertaining ways to seek out pleasure together without needing to be physically touching, which could be just the refresh you need.
Online Gaming
Your mind is probably thinking of things like Fortnite and Minecraft right now, but stick with me! Online gaming is not only an entertaining way to pass the time, but it can also be a fantastic way to reignite the passion for both you and your partners in a stress-free environment right now. Think of strip poker (which can also be played online if you want to keep things simple), but then imagine it with all of the possibilities that 2020 has on offer. You could find yourself removing an item of clothing every time they beat you in Super Smash Bros, or using dirty talk to throw them off while they’re fishing in Animal Crossing. Regardless of what you choose, it will create a space where sex can be fun again, since the distracting nature of games will ensure COVID-19 is the last thing on your mind. Plus, online games are particularly suited to those with multiple partners or that are part of swingers groups, as most are designed to be played in teams.
If video games aren’t your thing, don’t fret! As much as I am an avid gamer, even I occasionally find them a little too distracting to properly communicate. Instead, my favourite way to play games with my partner is through the art of roleplaying. This may conjure up images of themed dirty talk and costumes in the bedroom, and while that can be great when you’re together, I find having a more structured format to my roleplaying when online can be beneficial. Games like Dungeons and Dragons can easily be converted to a more sexual-style fantasy, and are another great way to accommodate a larger group of partners.
App-Controlled Sex Toys
If you’ve ever experienced the thrill of a partner controlling your vibrator or telling you how to use it, then you’ll understand why the idea of app-controlled sex toys is so appealing. More than just a way for people in long-distance relationships to connect, these high-tech toys create feelings of control and submission, and the anticipation of what your partner will do next is orgasm-worthy on its own. As such, they are the perfect way to play when you can’t actually be in physical contact. The important thing to remember when getting one is that you’re going to want it to be able to work over the internet, not just through Bluetooth, to ensure your partner can connect to it. Out of all of the sex toy apps I have tested over the years, those from We-Vibe, Lovehoney and Lovense have been the best for long-distance use, but for anyone involved in polyamory or swinging groups it is hard to beat the Lovehoney app, which allows you to add as many partners as you want and switch between them, rather than other apps which only allow for one partner at a time.
Teledildonics
If you were liking where I was headed with the app-controlled sex toys, but quickly lost interest at the thought of your partner sitting on their phone pressing sliders whilst you have all the fun, then teledildonics may be for you. The name may sound like something out of a bad science fiction novel, but it’s a concept that has actually been around since 1975. The idea is based upon transmitting and receiving a sense of touch over the internet, and now in 2020 we’re finally at a point where that vision is starting to be fulfilled. Kiiroo is the leading manufacturer of these types of devices, and by buying a set of their advanced toys for both you and your partner, you’ll be able to literally feel each other’s movements during use. Just imagine using a vibrator and any actions you make with it being instantly transferred to your partner’s stroker on the other side of the globe!
Create Your Own Toys
Not only are we missing sex right now, but we are missing the sense of connection to our partners that it brings. With that in mind, using a cold and unnatural-feeling vibrator might not really be doing it for you, even if your partner is controlling it, because at the end of the day sex toys don’t really replace other people, and they aren’t going to feel like them. But there is a way to get as close as possible to your partner’s familiar nether regions while still maintaining your social distance, and that is through services like Clone-A-Willy. This at-home DIY kit, and its counterpart Clone-A-Pussy, lets you create a silicone version of your genitals, which you can then send to your partner like a 3D dick pic. Available in a range of fun colours, including glow-in-the-dark, you can even opt for a vibrating option to really take things up a notch. As funny as it may sound, this is seriously a great way to preserve your bond with your partner, and will ultimately cost you a lot less than any of the more fancy high-tech sex toys we’ve been talking about here.
Watch Porn Together
Watching movies and other forms of entertainment with friends online has become a major way of staying in touch right now as we all look for ways to continue our regular activities virtually. But have you ever considered watching porn online with a partner? Watching each other masturbate is one of the most intimate things you can do with another person, strangely even more so than sex, and while this is fine on its own, adding porn to the mix can be a lot of fun. If you’ve never watched porn with a partner before I’d highly recommend it, as it can be a great way to not only share what you’re into with them, but also to introduce them to things you’d be interested in trying. Plus, it even gives you both the opportunity to explore entirely new kinks, thus allowing you to go on a journey of self-discovery together.
An alternative to this, which may seem a bit more approachable if porn isn’t your thing, but will ultimately be just as kinky, is to search through websites designed to let you meet swingers together. Polyamory or swinging is a great way to spice things up in a relationship, and with everyone meeting online right now there has never been a better time to try it out, all from the comfort of your own home.
Got any tips of your own for maintaining your sex life during lockdown or an experience you want to share? Let us know in the comments below!
Further reading:
- Beginner’s Guide To Sex Toys
- Beginner’s Guide To Butt Plugs
- Sex Toy Materials Guide
- Guide To Realistic Sex Toys
This post was sponsored by SwingTowns, but as always, all opinions are my own. Affiliate links have been used in this post.