Over the last few years I’ve become a massive fan of the work of H.P. Lovecraft and the Mythos he inspired. Growing up with little exposure to horror films or books (even the The Little Mermaid gave me nightmares as a child), his wide collection of short stories has served as the perfect gateway into this world for me, especially when you consider how much of it has formed the basis of the genre today. I often spend evenings reading over annotations of his work (yes, including analysis on the unpleasant racist overtones), have forked out way too much money on the Call of Cthulhu role-playing game (considering I have no one to play it with), and even though I still have a long way to go with catching up on horror as a film genre, I’ve just recently taken my first steps with John Carpenter’s Apocalypse Trilogy (which was also inspired by Lovecraft). But with my job being what it is, there has always been one thing missing, and that is, of course, a fantasy toy inspired by the most famous of all his creations: Cthulhu. For the longest time I had my eyes on Uberrime’s version, but size concerns and US shipping prices held me back, until finally it disappeared from their store. Just when I thought all was lost however, I discovered Darque Path and their very own interpretation made right here in Australia!
Review: Bestvibe Suction Vibrator
When I first started blogging, suction toys were nothing more than the newest gimmick to hit the market. But six years later they remain some of the industry’s bestselling products, and just like me and my blog, it looks like they’re here to stay. One aspect to them that hasn’t really seen much improvement over the last few years however is their price tag, as with original makers Womanizer and Satisfyer continuing to dominate the market (and sending lawsuits to anyone who dares make their own), they have ensured these toys remain inaccessible for most. At some point over the last year though, perhaps due to the ongoing pandemic and corresponding boom in sales, I feel like the industry as a whole finally said “fuck it”, and collectively started creating their own versions at a rate even Womanizer and Satisfyer’s fancy lawyers couldn’t keep up with. So today for our review I’m taking a look at my cheapest suction toy yet, the $25 USD Bestvibe Suction Vibrator.
Review: Sohimi Suction Vibrator
Rabbits have always been one of the most popular types of vibrators. But with the rise of suction toys over the last five years, and the discovery that they too can be incorporated into this beloved dual-stimulator, things have gotten much more interesting. Toys like the Satisfyer G-Spot Rabbit and the Womanizer DUO have certainly led the way, to the point where there are now more suction rabbits than WOW Tech can file lawsuits for, but the biggest issue surrounding these toys as of yet is their high prices. After all, as much as I adore the absolute perfection that is the DUO, I do not expect that many people are willing to fork out $330 for the damn thing. So when Sohimi recently approached me and suggested I review their version, which is priced at just $38 (for those keeping track at home, that’s THREE HUNDRED LESS than the DUO), I was understandably apprehensive of how good it could be, but more than eager to find out!
Review: Monster Pub Master Gokilla 2 Premium
This year people have been achieving all sorts of things during lockdown. From learning a language to starting businesses and new creative outlets, it’s been wonderful to see the different ways in which each of us has approached these strange times. So, what’s my personal achievement? Well, other than trying to keep some semblance of a blog while my home life got turned upside down, I decided to set out to watch all 36 films in the Godzilla franchise, because, well… why not? At the time of writing I am currently 24 films in and absolutely obsessed with all things kaiju, and so when Monster Pub, a company who sell a range of toys based on the beloved character, reached out to me recently, I could hardly believe it! After all, I definitely did not expect to have any reason to mention my Godzilla marathon here at my sex toy review blog! So, with that strange twist of fate in mind, let us jump into my review of the Monster Pub Master Gokilla 2 Premium!
Review: Uberrime Tentare Tentacle
It’s finally time for the last review of 2019 (and the decade!), and I’ve made sure to save the best till last. The Uberrime Tentare Tentacle is a product I’ve been dying to try all year, so I’m super excited to finally have my hands on it and be sharing my thoughts with you all today. Now, I’ve got to admit, the first time I saw this toy I thought it was a dildo. So despite how amazing it looked, my mind instantly assumed that due to its stubby dimensions it must be quite large, which probably wouldn’t work for my body. But I couldn’t get its unique design out of my head, so after I successfully tested the Uberrime Ripley Alien earlier this year I went back to it and actually read the product listing. Turns out it’s not a dildo at all (although it can still be used as one), but actually a sleeve for bullet vibrators such as the We-Vibe Tango. Well, as soon as I read that I knew I had to have one, but with so many other beautiful Uberrime toys to choose from it still took me awhile to get round to requesting it. When it was time to choose a product to wrap up the year with however, I knew exactly what I wanted it to be.
Review: ZALO HERO
Confidence is sexy. So when I received a press release from ZALO a few weeks ago that introduced themselves as “the leading luxury sex toy manufacturer” I was both surprised and intrigued. For a company who only branched out to the western market a few years ago, they are still considered by many the new kid on the block, that is if you even know who they are. ZALO’s products are beautiful and their packaging is exquisite, and even though I’ve only tried one of their toys, the Queen, I loved it. But “the leading luxury sex toy manufacturer”? That’s a bold claim. It is one, however, I expected them to at least be able to back up, and that is what got me first interested in the toy that the press release featured. It was HERO, their “newest and most advanced” toy yet, and as the second toy in their Legend series it was also the follow-up to the success of the Queen. Of course, with this I knew I had to get my hands on the HERO, and I was lucky enough to have ZALO and JOUJOU team up to send it my way.