Long Distance

Review: Pink Punch Peachu

Pink Punch Peachu

My blog has always been closely linked to suction toys. The obvious reason is because they are my favourite type of sex toy, and I love to review them and encourage others to experience their life changing orgasms. But the other, lesser known, reason is that I started my blog the same year they were first released, and I feel like we’ve grown up together in a way. Far from their origins as a tacky animal-print design with an awful name (alright, the name still exists), there are now hundreds of air pressure wave toys out there, and almost ten years later brands are still finding ways to innovate upon them. That takes us to today’s review, which features the new Pink Punch Peachu’s take on suction with a twist: an alternative D-shaped nozzle!

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Review: Satisfyer Pro 2 Generation 3

Satisfyer Pro 2 Generation 3

It’s been almost ten years now since the Satisfyer Pro 2 was first released, and yet it still takes out the top spot on every retailer’s bestsellers list year after year. But while it’s always been an exceptional product and the first-of-its-kind, introducing suction stimulation to the world, this is also largely because rather than just leaving it be, Satisfyer have continued to tinker away and update the Pro 2 throughout the years to ensure it continues to meet the industry’s ever-changing standards. Its first major update, dubbed the Next Generation, launched in 2017 and has remained my recommended introductory toy to air pressure waves ever since. However, with suction being its only offering, the need for a third generation has been steadily growing each year, and I practically jumped out of my seat when it was finally announced this January.

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Review: Satisfyer Dual Love & Dual Pleasure

Satisfyer Dual Love & Dual Pleasure

From the moment I tried the legendary Pro 2 back in 2016, Satisfyer, and their groundbreaking suction technology, became one of my all time favourite brands. For years this continued, with each Satisfyer being somehow better than the last, until finally culminating in 2019’s Satisfyer Luxury, their most ambitious (and expensive!) toy yet, whose powerful clitoral stimulation made it more than worth the price tag. But after this, things started to change. Satisfyer rebranded, switching their previously luxury feel to one more aimed at newcomers, and begun to release a wide range of products (ending their suction specialisation) at much lower prices than before. Cautiously pessimistic, I held back on reviewing for them for some time after that, until finally I broke my silence when I tried their first app compatible toys, the Curvy 1+ & 2+, around this time last year. With the pair all but confirming my fears about the declining standards of the brand however, it wasn’t the return to Satisfyer I had hoped. So when Betty’s Toy Box recently contacted me about trying the Curvy’s successors, the Dual Pleasure and Dual Love, it seemed only fair to give the brand I once loved so much a second chance.

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Review: Lovense Lush 2

Lovense Lush 2 Curved Tail

After such a long year, it seemed only right I started 2021 off with one of my most anticipated reviews. In fact, not only has this particular item garnered a lot of attention since I announced I was testing it, but it has also been one of my most requested toys for years now. The Lovense Lush 2 was sent to me by the wonderful folks over at JOUJOU, and was the hotly awaited follow-up to the legendary Lush vibrator. But even though this upgrade came out all the way back in 2018, it remains one of the most popular sex toys out there. Why? Well, even if you don’t know anything about sex toys, chances are you’ve seen this one before, because it is absolutely massive in the cam performers community. Visit any cam site and you’ll immediately see it featured on the streams of countless performers (just look out for the little pink string), as they all take advantage of the product’s integrated room features and token-based vibrations. But while it’s obvious that Lovense have made their toy almost a necessity for streamers, what I’m left wondering is whether it’s actually worth it for the rest of us.

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Review: Monster Pub Master Gokilla 2 Premium

Monster Pub Master Gokilla 2 Premium

This year people have been achieving all sorts of things during lockdown. From learning a language to starting businesses and new creative outlets, it’s been wonderful to see the different ways in which each of us has approached these strange times. So, what’s my personal achievement? Well, other than trying to keep some semblance of a blog while my home life got turned upside down, I decided to set out to watch all 36 films in the Godzilla franchise, because, well… why not? At the time of writing I am currently 24 films in and absolutely obsessed with all things kaiju, and so when Monster Pub, a company who sell a range of toys based on the beloved character, reached out to me recently, I could hardly believe it! After all, I definitely did not expect to have any reason to mention my Godzilla marathon here at my sex toy review blog! So, with that strange twist of fate in mind, let us jump into my review of the Monster Pub Master Gokilla 2 Premium!

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Review: We-Vibe Nova 2

We-Vibe Nova 2

Recently I was asked for a rabbit vibrator recommendation from one of my readers whose old toy had just broke, and as I scrolled through almost five years worth of my own reviews to find something suitable, I realised with surprise that there wasn’t a single product I felt I could suggest. I’m not sure whether it’s because rabbit vibrators are so hit or miss and I just haven’t found something I enjoy enough yet, or that they perhaps just aren’t for me, but the bottom line is that I don’t have even one traditional rabbit vibrator that I personally enjoy enough to feel comfortable recommending it to someone else. Of all the rabbits I’ve tried, there have been plenty of alright products, such as The Rabbit Company Come Hither and Vibease Esthesia, but even my current favourite, the Rocks Off Regala, can’t even stimulate my pleasure points effectively. In fact, the best dual-stimulation toys I’ve tried aren’t even rabbits at all, but the Womanizer DUO and SenseMax SenseVibe Warm, two luxury toys that aren’t exactly what people are after when they ask for rabbit recommendations. Plus, the nature of rabbits means that even if I did find one I enjoy, chances are it wouldn’t work for you anyway. But, when I recently heard that We-Vibe were releasing a newer version of their legendary Nova rabbit, a flexible vibrator designed to work with a range of body types and the toy that Womanizer based the DUO’s amazing G-Spot arm on, I was all in.

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